Page 48 of After the Red Carpet
“So I’ve heard,” Marni replied with an exaggerated wink.
“Okay, the next gift, please, before my husband flees the scene,” Ella said, giggling.
“You can save Dante’s present for later. It’s just lube and some accessories—we went shopping together,” Marni said.
Ella laughed and shook her head.
“Not exactly the most conventional shower gifts so far,” Marni commented, reading the list she had been dutifully recording. “A bottle of bourbon and carton of smokes fromMichael and Lauren, a children’s philosophy book from Jade, which your kid can’t read until at least high school, a nude portrait from your mother, and a vibrator with all the accoutrements. But then again, you are this generation’s most infamous sex and pleasure writer, so what did you expect?”
“Well, we did get some more traditional gifts. Willow sent a princess-themed mobile for the crib, Charlotte sent an engraved silver rattle, and of course Barbara made us that beautiful handsewn baby blanket,” Ella said, smiling at her mother-in-law. “I can’t wait to see what’s in that last box. Something surprising, no doubt.”
“Here you go,” Marni said, handing it to her.
“Oh, it’s from Jean. He sent it from Paris.” Ella opened the box and removed an envelope. She read the card aloud: “Ma chérie. You know my view of human existence is rather dark. As far as I can see, the human race is doomed and the most we can hope for is a good fuck every once in a while to take the edge off.” She paused as everyone laughed. “Witnessing firsthand the love you and Finn share makes me think that perhaps there is more, perhaps all is not lost. Wishing you both great joy with your impending arrival. As for the gift, on each of my shoots, I ask everyone in the cast and crew to sign the title page of my copy of the script. I save them all in my personal archive. Given how you and Finn fell in love on location and what we all meant to each other, I thought you two would like to have this to share with your child.” She removed the tissue paper from the box and took out something encased in Bubble Wrap. She tore away the packaging to reveal a framed script fromCelebration, signed by all their friends. Albie’s signature was in the center with a heart-shaped swirl under his name. Ella’s eyes flooded.
Finn leaned down and kissed the top of her head. “I never would have figured Jean to be so sentimental. What an amazing gift.”
Ella wiped her eyes and said, “We can hang it in Betty’s room so, when she’s old enough, we can tell her our story, and hers.”
“DID YOU ENJOY YOUR SHOWER, SWEETHEART?”Finn asked as they snuggled on the couch with their cat after all the guests had left.
“Very much. I had no idea it was coming either. With the due date less than two weeks away, I just figured no one had planned a shower, which would have been fine.”
“Not a chance. Your mother needed time to make her present, and Marni thought you’d be more surprised this way.”
“She really likes you, you know, Marni. When we first moved in together, she had her doubts, being a skeptic about relationships and all. She thought you were too good to be true and that I’d turn into something I’m not, lose who I am. But now even she sees that we’re made for each other.”
“That’s because we are,” he said, pecking her on the lips. He chuckled. “Even though I decided to host the shower in our home, she insisted on taking care of all the details. I did what I could to steer her toward something respectable, but it was impossible. She’s a trip.”
“It was perfect. Felt like me, us.” She gave him a smooch. “I still argue that the cake was totally fucked.”
“That it was,” he agreed as they both laughed. “But I would have died if she’d have gone with the dick cake in front of my mother. Oh, she also suggested a cake shaped like two breasts—you know, to celebrate your changing body. Holy shit!”
Ella laughed. “Sounds about right.” She got quiet for a moment and rubbed her belly. “Something I ate reallydidn’t agree with me. I’ve been having indigestion, and it’s just getting worse and worse. It was probably that demented cake.”
“Baby, how long have you felt that way?”
“About an hour. I didn’t want to say anything and spoil the fun. I’m sure I’ll feel better soon.”
“Maybe I should take you to the hospital to be safe.”
“Don’t be silly. I’m just going to go take a little nap. Help me up.”
Finn stood up and took her hands. As she rose, she doubled over. “Oh, jeez. It really is getting worse. You don’t think this could be labor, do you?”
“Sweetheart, let’s go to the hospital, just in case.”
“All right,” Ella conceded. “Maybe that’s not such a bad idea.”
“I’ll grab your suitcase and call Dr. King on the way.”
“YOU’RE TWO CENTIMETERS DILATED,”Dr. King said, peeking up from between Ella’s legs. “This could be a long haul, but I’d like to admit you for now. The nurse will continue to monitor you.”
“Thank you,” Ella replied.
Dr. King left the room, and Finn took Ella’s hand. “How are you doing, sweetheart?”
“I’m okay, but . . .”
