Page 45 of After the Red Carpet
ELLA SHUFFLED INTO THEIR BEDROOM,Finn following closely behind.
“Are you hungry, sweetheart? I can ask Joyce to fix you something.”
She shook her head. “It’s not because I’m not eating. They gave me a banana and crackers at the hospital, and I’m just . . .”
“I know, baby,” he said, embracing her. “Why don’t we change into our comfy pajamas and slip into bed. Production of the film is on hold indefinitely so I can stay with you. Family first always. We can spend the next couple of days just lounging around and watching movies. Your choice.”
“I’m not an invalid,” she protested, still barely meeting his eyes.
“Of course not, but the doctor said you should take it easy.”
“She didn’t say I need total bed rest.”
“Come here,” Finn said, guiding her to the edge of the bed. “Please sit.” She obliged and he took her hand. “Ella, something inside of me fundamentally changed when I found out you’re pregnant. It made me feel fiercely protective of you. It’s innate, impossible to explain. Today, when I got that phone call . . .” He stopped to shake hishead. “I’ve never been so scared in all my life. Even if I’m overreacting, please indulge me. Just stay in bed for a day or two. I’ll stay with you the whole time. Please, for me.”
“Fine,” she grumbled. “I need to use the bathroom.”
A few minutes later, wearing fleece pajamas, she joined Finn in bed. “I’m tired. I’m going to take a nap,” she said, lying down with her back to him.
He cradled his body against hers and draped his arm over her.
Two hours later, Ella woke up, Finn still firmly pressed against her. She turned to face him, and he asked, “How’s my beautiful wife feeling?”
“Fine.”
“How’s our little girl?” he asked, putting his hand on her tummy.
“It’s fine,” she mumbled.
“Oh, Ella,” he said, running his fingertips down her face. “Sweetheart, please talk to me. I know what you’re doing.”
She furrowed her brow.
“You’re not using her name anymore. You’re using the most detached language you possibly can. I first noticed it in the hospital, but I’d hoped it was just a slip under the stress. I know you, baby. This is what you do when you’re scared. You pull away, retreat into yourself, try to make yourself love less. But we have each other and we always will, so you don’t need to do that. Let me help you.”
“Finn . . .”
“Don’t do this. Not with Betty. Please, baby. Lean on me. I’m here.”
Ella burst into tears. Finn pulled her close and she rested her head on his chest, sobbing. “When they were rushing me to the hospital, I thought I might lose her. I’m terrified something is really wrong. The more I love her, the more it will hurt,” she sputtered in between sobs.
“Oh, sweetheart,” he said, rubbing her head. “I was scared too. For both of you. But in my heart, I know she’s okay. The ultrasound confirmed it. What she needs now is our love, our boundless love.”
She sniffled and pulled back to look at him. He used his fingers to gently wipe away her tears.
“Ella, my partner, my love. We already learned this lesson. You said that when you tore yourself out of my arms in Sweden, it was the most painful experience of your life. Trying to detach yourself from me didn’t ease the pain; it amplified it. When we came back together, we made the decision to love fearlessly, with everything we have. That’s what we need to do now.”
“Okay. You’re right. I’m sorry,” she said, more tears falling.
“Shh . . .” he said, wiping her tears and kissing her forehead. “You have nothing to apologize for. I can only imagine how frightening it was. I’m so sorry I wasn’t there by your side. And about what happened in the hospital . . .”
“It’s okay. You were just responding to what the doctor said.”
“It’s not okay, and I’m so sorry. I was scared, feeling helpless, desperate to make things better. You’re already the most incredible mother—the way you take care of yourself, the way you take care of our sweet girl. I should have trusted you implicitly. Please forgive me.”
She kissed him softly. “There’s nothing to forgive. I love you.”
“I love you with all my heart.”
