Page 16 of The Location Shoot
“I think you’re all brilliant. Don’t mind my note-taking—it’s just a habit.” She paused to take a sip of her drink and said, “Maybe we should talk about something else. It’s great to hear that everyone is feeling so inspired, though I do wonder if it would be best to remain open to the process of discovery and not do too much plodding and planning for tomorrow.”
Albie smiled.
“You know what I mean,” Ella said, raising her glass and clinking it to his.
“She’s right. Benefit of having worked with Jean before.” Albie looked at Ella and said, “You do understand what it means to create art. It can’t be hammered to death.”
“What do you mean?” Charlotte asked earnestly.
“The reason Jean doesn’t allow blocking or rehearsals is so you’ll find the moment as it’s happening. There’s beauty in that, truth even. As you know better than anyone, acting isn’t about pretending; it’s about finding what’s true. You’re making cinema, not a movie,” Ella explained.
Jean laughed and said, “Right as always. We don’t want to ruin the opportunity for spontaneity in tomorrow’s shoot. I have an idea.” He rubbed Ella’s shoulder and continued, “Let’s play one of your getting-to-know-you games.”
“I love games,” Michael said, leering suggestively at Ella.
Ella glanced across the table at Finn, and a subtle smile flickered across his face.
Jean explained, “Her games are marvelous. They’re designed to reveal things about yourself, things you wouldn’t ordinarily volunteer or even recognize. They really help a group get to know one another. After all, that’s the real point of these dinners, to create intimacy that will translate on screen. Plus, it’s fun to spend time together, especially when alcohol is involved.” He stopped to chuckle, then added, “Once, Ella got a group of us bloody drunk and then described four different ancient perspectives on spirituality. She challenged each of us to pick and defend a position. Not the most conventional drinking game, I’d say.”
“Yes, listening to you slur your answers was a real treat,” Ella said, giggling.
The men laughed.
“I wouldn’t be very good at something like that,” Willow said nervously. “You know, a school-smart kind of thing.”
Ella smiled compassionately at her. “There are all kinds of games we can play. How about this? Name four people,living or deceased, who you would like to invite over for a dinner party. There are no wrong answers.”
Willow smiled and said, “That sounds fun. I guess I’d pick my mother and my grandmother; they both died when I was little. Britney Spears because I love to work out to her music. Oh, and that guy who hosts the show where people do those terrifying or gross dares. I’ve always had a bit of a crush on him.”
Everyone smiled.
“I’m sorry you lost your mother and grandmother,” Ella said.
“Yes, we’re sorry,” Charlotte said. The others looked on supportively.
“Thanks,” Willow replied. “We were really close. I’ve wanted to be an entertainer for as long as I can remember. They always encouraged me to perform, even when I was little. They made costumes for me with hand-sewn sequins and entered me in all kinds of contests and pageants, cheering from the sidelines no matter what happened. Neither got to see me become successful.”
“It must have been very challenging to navigate fame at such a young age when you lost two of your guiding lights,” Ella said.
Willow’s eyes became watery. She sniffled and said, “Yes. I felt completely lost and I craved love so badly. Along the way, wanting to be an entertainer morphed into wanting to be famous. For a long time, I thought fame was love. It really messed me up. I did a lot of stupid things trying to deal with it and trying to get a constant stream of attention because that was all I knew. I’m so embarrassed by all of it, by my past behavior. I don’t want the world to see me as some kind of fallen teen star for the rest of my life. It’s hard to move past that image.”
Finn looked at her sympathetically. “I know it’s notthe same as losing your family, and I know that it’s much harder for girls and women in our industry, but I became famous as a teenager and it took me a while to get a grasp on it. I’m just glad we didn’t have social media in those days. It was easier to hide from our mistakes. You’re still young, and so much of your career is ahead of you. Your choices are endless.”
“Thank you,” Willow said.
“At some point, you realize that fame is a by-product of what we do, but it can’t be the motivation. It’s an illusion, not something to hang your hat on,” Finn continued.
“Honestly? You don’t think it’s kind of great?” Michael asked. “Being adored, the special treatment . . .”
“Maybe when I was young. Now I’m just grateful to be a working actor. The rest of it is meaningless, or worse, a distraction. I try to live as privately and out of the spotlight as possible. I want to be known for the characters I portray, not my personal life.”
Ella smiled warmly at him.
Finn turned to Willow and said, “You have nothing to be embarrassed about. No one gets it right when they’re young, and few can understand the pressure of the spotlight, not to mention the people making millions off your labor. In the end, your talent will win out. Make the best choices you can moving forward, and don’t let the past hold you back.”
“Thank you. I’m trying.” She paused. “Can I ask you something?”
“Sure.”
