Page 65 of The Location Shoot
“Yes,” she whispered. “I love you so much.”
He pressed his forehead to hers. “I’m yours,” he whispered. “I don’t want to own you or change you or hurt you. All I want in this world is to love you.” He pulled back, cupped her face in his hands, and pressed his mouth to hers. They began kissing softly and with increasing passion, running their fingers through each other’s hair and pulling off their clothes. They stumbled onto the bed and made love tenderly, each whispering, “I love you,” over and over again.
After making love, Finn wrapped Ella in his arms, continuing to gently kiss her. “What we have is so beautiful.You can trust it. It’s not a lie or a trick or a fantasy. It’s not going to evaporate or be stolen away,” he whispered. “I’m yours. I love you more than I could say. I always will.”
“I love you too. Body and soul,” she said.
He kissed her again. “Just sleep like this, curled up in my arms. When we’re holding each other, it’s easy to remember that we belong together. We can figure out the details in the morning. Okay, baby?”
She nodded. “Don’t let go,” she said, closing her eyes.
THE NEXT MORNING, THE PHONE RANGat the crack of dawn. Finn leaned over and answered the wake-up call. When he put the receiver down, he rolled over and found that Ella wasn’t in bed. He stretched his arms and sat up. Ella was balled up in the chair in the corner of the room, chain-smoking.
“Hey,” he said.
“Hey,” she muttered.
He got up, put on his underwear and pants, and walked over to Ella. She was distant, so he knelt on the floor before her and laid his head on her lap.
“I promised Jean I’d go to the Cannes Film Festival for the premiere. I’ll see you there,” she said.
He popped his head up, trying to read her face. “Cannes? That’s in May. It’s seven months away,” he replied. “Baby, what are you doing?”
“Just go and live your life, Finn. If you’ll always love me, then when we see each other at Cannes, we’ll choose to be together.” She paused and said, “But you and I both know that when we meet on that red carpet, I’ll just be some woman you once spent a couple of months with. You’ll give me an awkward little hug or a peck on the cheek, make some small talk, and go about your life without giving it asecond thought. Maybe you’ll even be relieved you didn’t throw your life away for a brief affair.”
He looked down, ran his hand through his hair, and muttered, “I can’t believe you’re doing this.” He raised his gaze to meet hers. “This isn’t what you really want. I know you, baby. You’re going to regret this. I can see it in your eyes—you already do. It’s why you got out of bed and sat over here. If you were in my arms, if we were touching, you could never say these things to me. We love each other too much. You love me, I know you do. You’re just not convinced of my love for you. I want to prove my love every day for the rest of my life.” He reached out and traced the outline of her fingers. She inhaled and he said, “You’re just scared.”
“Please, Finn. Don’t make it harder.”
“The first night we spent together, you said, ‘Don’t ever go.’ You meant it. Sweetheart, I don’t want to leave you.”
“Please, Finn. I’ll see you in Cannes in the spring.”
He sighed heavily before rising. He grabbed his shirt and shoes off the floor and turned to face her. “Ella, a relationship is two people being courageous together. I can’t do it for you. Please, trust what we have and take the leap with me.”
She just stared at him with a haze of sadness in her eyes. He turned and walked out the door, closing it gently behind him.
A COUPLE OF HOURS LATER,the driver was ready to ferry the five actors on the long ride to the airport. Michael, Willow, and Charlotte had said their goodbyes and were waiting in the van. Albie thanked Jean and then hugged Ella tightly. “Take it from an old bugger like me: life is short. Love is what matters. You two are in love. Don’t blow it, kid,” he whispered. She squeezed him tighter andhe said, “I’m going to spend every last minute I have with my beloved Margaret. I’ll be in her arms when I take my final breath. Don’t let fear ruin your shot at real love and happiness. That’s all that matters. Love, Ella.Love.”
When they parted, she said, “I’ll be thinking of you. Please be well. I hope to see you in Cannes.”
Albie smiled. “I fear I won’t make it to see our project up on the silver screen. I do hope our special little film that asks the big questions will inspire people to grab life with gusto. Perhaps it will even inspire you.” He winked, kissed the top of her head, and then climbed into the van.
Finn stood in the doorway, looking down. “Thank you again,” he said to Jean, shaking his hand. Then he turned to Ella, kissed her politely on her cheek, and muttered, “Goodbye,” without looking in her eyes. With that, he left.
Ella gasped, collapsed onto Jean’s chest, and burst into tears. He rubbed her back as she sobbed uncontrollably. He whispered, “Ma chérie, you are in love with him.”
“Yes,” she mumbled through her cries.
“Why did you do this thing?” he asked.
“I don’t know.”
CHAPTER 17
Ella shuffled into her apartment and dropped her luggage by the door. Her flat felt stuffy and smelled stale after three months of vacancy, so she opened the balcony doors and allowed a fresh breeze to blow through the small space. She inhaled deeply and tried to catch her breath, but her gaze was drawn to her keepsake chest. She flipped the top open, rifled around, and pulled out her old teddy bear, the white silk ribbon around its neck discolored and frayed. As she held it, tears exploded from her eyes. Clutching the teddy bear, she crawled into bed and cried herself to sleep.
“DARLING, IS THAT YOU?”Margaret called as Albie walked through the door.
