Page 19 of Promises & Petals in Nettleford-on-the-Wold
‘Does Josh know?’ Hannah spoke quietly. Part of her felt wrong asking, being as she was well aware of how he felt towards Richard after that phone call he’d taken, but she also wanted to know if he knew how unhappy Sophie was.
Sophie shrugged. ‘He knows bits and pieces. It’s not been easy for him either. Not since he moved back home, the last thing I want to do is to unload my worries on him when he finally seems to be getting himself together again.’
Hannah frowned. Josh had always appeared cool and collected; it was his very nature. It’s who he had been when they’d been growing up, and it’s how he seemed to be now, since she’d returned. ‘What do you mean, getting himself together again?’
Sophie scrunched up her nose. ‘I don’t know how much I should say, but when he finally saw sense and split with his ex, he lost everything. They’d been living together in London, and I don’t know what she said to their friends, but they all took herside, completely ignored him, stopped inviting him out and all that. Plus, she somehow took over the flat they’d been living in.’
Hannah swallowed, the thought of people turning against Josh making her stomach twist in pain. ‘That’s awful.’
‘It was. He wanted to move back here to the village anyway, but if he’d been able to carry on at work, then he could have saved and moved back here on his own terms, got his own place rather than being forced to move back into my parents’’.’
‘What happened to his job?’
Sophie grimaced. ‘He was working for his ex’s dad, wasn’t he? I told him not to mix work and pleasure. Everyone knows not to date in the workplace, don’t they?’
Hannah nodded. ‘But if she ended the relationship, it’s hardly fair he...’
‘So, yeah, he was the one who ended it. They were ‘on a break’ at her insistence, and then when she wanted to get back together, he told her he no longer wanted to be with her.’
‘Oh, I...’ What was she supposed to say to that?
‘Thinking about it, it was probably the last time you saw him. He was back for your grandad’s funeral.’
‘Right.’ Hannah nodded before taking a sip of her tea, letting the sweet liquid pool in her mouth before swallowing.
Sophie shrugged. ‘It was weird actually, when he first came back to stay, he was super upset and couldn’t wait to get back to London. he was planning on sending flowers to her, booking a nice holiday, that sort of thing, and then suddenly, he stopped. He just seemed to decide overnight he was no longer interested in getting their relationship back on track.’
Lowering her cup slowly, Hannah tried to form the words she wanted to ask. She was being daft; she knew she was. He hadn’t walked away from that relationship because of what she’d told him all those years ago, but she suddenly needed to know a little more. She needed confirmation. Twisting the cup on its ornatesaucer, she tried her best to sound as nonchalant as she possibly could. ‘Do you remember when he changed his mind exactly? I was just thinking it might have been due to a big event, like their anniversary or something, which made him realise?’
‘No, I don’t think so.’ Sophie squirmed in her chair, not wanting to say what she was about to. ‘I don’t want to bring it up, but it was the day of your grandad’s funeral. He just came home and told us he was staying and he didn’t want to get back with her after all.’
‘Oh.’ Hannah felt as though time had slowed.
Gripping the teacup in her hands, Hannah leaned forward, eager to hear the answer. ‘To do with what?’
‘I don’t know how to say this, but I guessed it was because he realised how short life really was and that he didn’t want to spend it with her anymore.’ Reaching out, she rubbed Hannah on the forearm. ‘Sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. Not like that.’
‘No, that’s okay.’ Hannah earned heavily back in her chair. Josh had changed his mind about going back to his ex after she’d bared her soul to him. Whether it was because of what she’d admitted or because of what Sophie said... Hannah pushed herself to standing. ‘I just need to run to the loo. Won’t be a moment.’
‘Okay.’ Sophie frowned, her forehead creasing and her eyes filling with concern. ‘I’m sorry I didn’t mean to bring up your grandad like that, I just...’
Forcing a smile, Hannah leaned down and hugged her friend around the shoulders. ‘It’s okay. I pushed you to answer me. Besides, I’m not upset; I literally do just need to empty my bladder. Too many teas, they go right through me.’
‘As long as you’re sure I’ve not upset you?’ Looking up at her, Sophie clasped Hannah’s hand.
‘Not at all, but if I don’t hurry, they’ll be a puddle on the floor soon enough.’ Hannah forced herself to laugh as she began walking towards the toilets.
Pulling the door open, she was thankful the restroom was empty. Pausing in front of the mirror, Hannah grippe onto the edge of the ceramic sink and looked at her reflection. She closed her eyes to the image of herself looking back at her and tried to steady her breathing. It felt as though a million butterflies had taken residence in her stomach, and she had no idea why. Josh hadn’t decided to stay on in the village because of her. He hadn’t ended the relationship he was taking a break from because of her.
And she had the evidence. If he had, then he’d have left as soon as she’d run off. Or he’d have at least tried to contact her.
Opening her eyes again, Hannah pointed her finger at her reflection. ‘You’re being stupid, Hannah. You’re letting yourself daydream. He does not like you, not like that. Probably not even like, he probably just tolerates you. He did not stay in Nettleford-on-the-Wold because of you.’
There, she’d said it. Out loud at that. She slumped her shoulders. If she didn’t have foundation on, shed splash her face with cold water like they do in the movies to make the character see sense. Because that’s what she needed to do, she needed to see sense. That conversation she’d had telling Josh how she felt about him and his ending his relationship and staying in the village were completely unconnected. They might as well have happened a decade apart. They had nothing to do with each other.
Besides, he’s probably had girlfriends, partners, since. Someone like Josh wouldn’t very well have stayed single for four years in the hope shed return. Of course not.
She rolled her eyes at herself. She needed to put this whole notion of Josh liking her right out of her head because if she didn’t; she was only going to get her heart broken.
