Page 96 of Chokehold
“It’s my turn to take you somewhere,” I say, and Cole looks back at me. My smile grows impossibly wide. I rest my arm on the roof and lean into the car. Fuck me, I want to kiss him again, but I let my dimples out to play instead. “Scoot over, princess.”
That makes him laugh, and he unbuckles his belt and forces me back as he unfolds from the car. “Call me a princess one more time, and I’ll make you my bitch in the backseat of the car.”
“Woah,” I laugh as he rounds the front of the car. “Now that sounds like a promise,princess.”
Cole flips me off, then climbs in, and I can’t stop more chuckles from shaking my diaphragm. My gaze snags on the white house, and my laughter dies in my throat. This is the shadow his past casts on his reality, like a cloud in the blue sky, and one of these days, I’m going to make his father pay for the shit he put his son through. I swear to fucking god, I’ll make him beg for his life.
Cole looks confusedas I drive us through a remote village. It’s the ‘blink and you miss it’ type of town. My dad drove us here once to drop something off for someone, and I’ve come here since.
I pull up in a small parking lot, big enough to fit four cars and exit the vehicle. Cole climbs out, too, and looks around like he expects me to drag him into the bushes and strangle him. “Where the fuck are we?”
“You’ll see,” I say, walking toward an opening in the cliffs. The sandy path crunches beneath our soles, and a warm breeze ruffles our hair from the sea to our left. A seagull screeches as I shove my hands into my jeans pockets to stop myself from reaching his hand.
The cliffs part and the small rocks beneath our feet shift to soft sand. We step onto the beach, which is this village’s hidden gem. Very few people know about this place.
Walking ahead, the sun heats my shoulders through my T-shirt as I pick out a dry spot of sand. Kicking off my shoes and socks, I sit down.
Cole comes to a stop beside me, and I shield my face from the sun as I peer up at him. “Join me.”
A small smile plays the corner of his lips, and he looks out at the crashing waves. The wind shifts his dark hair as I feel my heart beating harder. Reaching for his hand, I pull his attention back to me. “Please.”
He lowers himself, and we sit in silence while watching a seagull ride the breeze.
“The space beneath your bed is your safe place,” I say, and Cole looks at me. I lift a shoulder in a shrug. “This is mine.”
Resting my arms on my knees, I let my eyes drift over an incoming wave. It builds in strength, much like my emotions where Cole is concerned and, with a ferocity that’s both terrifying and exciting, it crashes against the shore. “You’ve met my dad,” I reply, staring at the white sea foam as the wave retreats out to sea. “While your father abused you both, my father…” I drift off, unsure how to express myself. Scratching at my temple, I try again. “My dad is cold. He provides for your mom, takes her on holidays, and makes sure she has everything she needs. On the flip side, when it comes to her emotional needs, he’s completely clueless. You’re her son, the most prized possession she has, and he won’t even try with you. It’s emotional abuse, Cole.”
Cole listens without interrupting, and I appreciate that he lets me stumble over my words.
“I like you, Cole. Fuck, I’m falling for you.” Reaching for his hand, I squeeze his fingers. “I want this for us, but I share my dad’s blood and fear that maybe?—”
Cole kisses me before I can finish that sentence, his lips pressing against mine. “Shut up,” he whispers and nips my bottom lip. “You’re not your dad.”
“And you’re not yours,” I remind him, making him pull away and bounce his eyes between mine.
“This is all very new to me.” Scooping up sand, I feel it pour through my fingers. “For the longest time, I thought I was incapable of feeling. I was fine with it.”
“What are you saying?”
Another wave crashes against the shore.
“I’ve done some things… You might not look at me the way you do now when you find out.”
“What have you done?”
I should tell him about the time I drugged him and recorded him fucking Mia while his girlfriend blew me, all because Iwanted blackmail material to hold over his head. I should also tell him I know he’s the masked man and that he’s the only one I want.
There are a lot of things Ishouldsay.
But I don’t because I’m scared of losing him. I’d rather keep him in the dark, regardless of how selfish that makes me. But maybe I deserve to be selfish for once. I’ve always lived up to my dad’s high expectations of me, and sometimes—no, a lot of times—it forced me to be someone else.
Dad wanted me to get a girlfriend from a high-standing family, so I brought Mia home.
Dad wanted me to play football, so I joined the team.
Dad wanted me to follow in his footsteps, so I took up majoring in business.
If Dad wanted me to jump, I asked how high.
