Page 85 of Chokehold
“I’m not fucking jealous,” he spits.
“Fine…” I climb out of bed and stomp up to him. We’re toe to toe, just like before, but it feels like we’re oceans apart. “If the roles were reversed, I’d be jealous as hell. But I get it… You don’t feel the same way about me.” I turn to leave, but he grabs my arm. As his heat warms my back, I stare at the door.
“I do feel the same way. I’m just…scared.”
How can I not soften when he presses his lips to my bare shoulder? “I’ve never felt like this, and I don’t know how to handle these emotions.”
“What are you scared of?”
His breath drifts over my skin, and he kisses me again, higher up on my shoulder, closer to the curve where it meets my neck. “I’m scared of losing you. That maybe…you’ll figure out I’m not good enough.”
My heart squeezes. “You are good enough, Cole.”
More kisses.
More gentle touches.
“Come with me,” I plead.
He shakes his head and steps back. “No, it’s too risky.”
“Risky?”
Cole walks to the bedroom door and opens it before looking at me over his shoulder. I’m still naked, my dick flaccid. “I might kill him if I see him anywhere near you.” Looking past me to the window, he continues. “You’re right. I need to trust you, but what good does it do when I don’t trust myself around you?”
“So you won’t come?” My shoulders slump with disappointment, and I don’t know why. But a part of me had really hoped he would come with me.
His smile doesn’t reach his eyes. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” Then he slips from my room, and something breaks inside me. Walking up to the door, I slam it shut with enough force to make the picture frames rattle. My eyes land on the creased bedsheets and bloodstains.
Every moment with Cole feels very much like one step forward and two back.
Tiago: Are you coming over tonight? Mia and Allie won’t be around.
Me: I can’t, sorry.
Tiago: You never spend time with us anymore.
Ronnie: He’s too busy sucking up to Cole’s friends.
Me: Leave him out of it. I have things I need to take care of tonight.
Tiago: You’re defending him? Who are you, and what did you do to my friend? Are you best buddies now?
Music blastsin the background as I tap the side of my phone. My stomach churns with unease as I shift on the couch. I’ve been distracted lately by Mia’s bullshit and my complicated emotions where Cole is concerned, and now the cracks are starting to show in my friendships. Ignoring the messages, I pocket my phone when Jackson flops down beside me. He rests his arm behind me on the couch and spreads his legs obnoxiously wide as though he owns the place. His eyes sparkle in the dim light as he flashes a side smirk. “Where’s your brother?”
“He couldn’t make it.”
He smiles and flicks his eyes to my mouth. “I’m glad you came.”
My teeth grind at the hidden meaning beneath those words. If he thinks I’ll fall for his blatant flirting, he’s dead wrong. Something about Jackson feels off, and I can’t put my finger on it. I sought him out the other day because I was in emotional pain and had nowhere else to turn. My bullshit radar was broken. But tonight, as he presses his thigh against mine, a shiver runs through me. It’s not a pleasant one. “Are you having a good time?”
A good time? I’ve sat on this couch alone for the last hour. Mia tried to speak to me earlier, but I brushed off her attempts, not in the mood. This isn’t my crowd. “Sure,” I reply instead.
“We’re doing another chase in a bit. You in?”
Frowning, I glance away from the busy dance floor—and by the dance floor, I mean the empty space in the living room where scantily clad girls hop around like Duracell bunnies on speed. “Another chase?”
“Yeah.” I stiffen when he grazes his fingers over my shoulder. “Like the other time when we broke up into teams.”
