Page 155 of Restitution
“I know.” I sniff. “Your dad has a decapitated head in the freezer.”
He laughs. “Sometimes I forget how psychotic he can be. Come on. Let’s go back to bed, Freckles. It’s cold without you.”
45
KADE
Ican’t go down and see her. Does that make me weak?
When we first got here three weeks ago, I had to see with my own eyes that Bernadette was incapacitated. For peace of mind, knowing the army that followed her for years was dead and no one was looking for her, I needed to see her caged and no longer a threat to me and everyone I love.
But the thought of going down there, where she screams for help and calls my dad and Base every name under the sun at the top of her lungs, makes me physically ill.
Not that I’m scared or nervous to see her. I’m not. The torture she’s going through right now brings me joy, but if I go down there, I’ll strangle her so fucking tightly, I’lldecapitate her and putherhead in the freezer too.
The number of daydreams I’ve had, imagining myself ending her pathetic life, should be questioned. Maybe I need stronger meds?
My anxiety has lessened. I don’t black out anywhere near as much as I used to, and there’s been no seizures, or dissociation that I’m aware of. Most of all, I’ve been getting more than enough sleep.
Stacey makes me go to bed at the most fucking ridiculous hours. Three in the afternoon and she wants to nap? I go with her. If she falls asleep on the sofa while we all watch TV, I carry her to bed and cuddle her until my eyes close. Once her legs healed, we started walking through the forest with the dogs, and one time, we fell asleep under a damn tree while talking about our future.
I’ve never slept so much in my life.
But still, I won’t go down to that room and look at Bernadette. She’s being fed but only scraps of what we don’t eat, and she gets one glass of water a day – just enough to keep her alive but weak enough that she’s out cold most of the time. The more weight she loses, the larger the cage looks.
I know this because Stacey goes down there a lot without telling me – I find out as soon as she gets back to our room. She’ll sometimes just sit in front of the cage and not speak, enjoying the view of the woman who tried to take everything from us. Other times, Stacey tells her stories about us and watches the way Bernadette twists with jealousy. All Bernadette managed to say was, “You aren’t good enough for Kade.”
Asshole of a woman. Does she not realise Stacey is better than us all? Even if she did stab her in the foot then leave the blade in until the wound got infected. She hasn’t gone back down since.
Barry’s gone home several times. He had to take the tunnelsso he wouldn’t be spotted. Not that he’s even in the limelight or known to the authorities, but he wasn’t taking chances. He also brought the ultrasound machine so Luciella could hear the baby’s heartbeat – which was strong and clear as day. Not that any of us knew how to fucking work the thing.
Base’s eyes lit up in a way I’ve never seen.
I know he’s nervous. Luciella has begged him to accept he’s going to be a father, but he told me last night, while drunk off his ass, that he doesn’t think he’ll be a good parent. That he’ll fuck it all up because he can barely control his own life.
But Dad told him he can’t be more of a fuck-up than him – the only time he’s spoken to my best friend without threatening him.
Despite what they both say about themselves, I knowI’ll be a damn good father. My kid will come first, forever and always. All I need to do is kill one last person and I’m done with that life. I’m getting my shit together for myself and Stacey.
Just to make things ten times better, Stacey is spending more time with my sister than she is with me, and Base is glued to my side. Whenever my dad tries to talk to me, Base attempts to fit into the conversation by being his usual talkative, hyperactive self, but Dad just glares at him until he shuts up.
Base acts like a devoted puppy that never knows where the line is drawn, but he’s the opposite.
For starters, he’s an animal in bed. We were forced into so many threesomes together, and the guy is into some primal shit that even made me baulk and wonder if he’d kill someone during it. He even stabbed a guy in the ribs once while… you know.
Despite his soft side, Base is a scary motherfucker. I’m extremely glad we don’t need to do anything intimate anymore,because even though I never, ever,everlet him fuck me, I knew it was only a matter of time until Bernadette ordered it.
As much as it was forced upon us, we tried to keep ourselves together. We’d tell each other over and over that she wouldn’t break us. When we were on each other, we’d promise not to let it ruin the friendship we’d built since we were kids.
I was always the receiver. Always. I think Bernadette liked it that way.
I would never have survived going through all of that without Base.
I watched him kill relentlessly, and when Bernadette first forced him to get into her bed, he chucked a vase at her head and got himself tied to the headboard for it. The entire time Bernadette had her mouth on him, he threw insults at her, drove his knee into her face and told her she was terrible at blowjobs. And when he refused to do as he was told, she made him fight with guards until he passed out from blood loss. Most of the time, I joined in when he grew weak and was losing, but then they started restraining me and making me watch him get beat up.
We went through the wringer with that woman, and she probably thought she’d break our friendship, but in all honesty, I trust Base with my life now more than ever. Even if he likes to occasionally embarrass me in front of my girl by asking her if I gyrate my hips with her like I did when he had his mouth on my cock. Or if I make a certain noise when I cum. If I kiss her as passionately as I kissed him.
Despite it being a trauma response for him to be brutally annoying about the subject, I punched him for that. An hour later, when Luciella found out I hit him, she barged into my room, threw a shoe at me and called me an asshole for giving him a blackeye and swollen jaw.
