Page 108 of Restitution
Most of them had no idea what Kade had been through. They must’ve thought he was just a rebellious kid who wanted revenge on someone who’d wronged him. They were paid to guard, to debunk, to hack and to fight, and now they know.
I can see the respect they have for him.
None of them move to leave; they just lower their heads, showing their unmoving loyalty.
Kade looks exhausted as he glances at them all then at me. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be.” I kiss his forehead despite the blood, and it makes him slowly close his eyes for a moment. “Do you want to go to your room?”
He nods. “Yeah.”
I reach for his gloved hand, and he lets me take it, lacing our fingers. I help him up with the aid of two of his guys, and we lead him into the manor.
He stops beside his mum. “We don’t believe Dad is dead until we see proof.”
Lu hugs him. “I said the same thing. You need to sleep.”
Aria also agrees. “Yes, sweetheart.” She brushes her fingersthrough his hair as Lu pulls away, pushing his hood down. “Go shower and sleep. I’ll have breakfast ready in the morning.”
Aria tells Luciella to go to sleep too. “Go. I’ll have the mess cleared.”
The glaze in her eyes tells a thousand stories, all of them ending in heartbreak.
We all know there won’t be any breakfast in the morning.
Kade doesn’t speak on the way to his room, but he does stagger a few times, and I’m certain he’s going to seize again as he drops to his knees and vomits on his staircase.
As soon as we get to his room, he falls against the closed door. “I fucked up.”
“It’s okay. Where are your meds?”
He points to the drawer next to his bed. “I fucked up,” he says again. “They’re coming for me. Please run.”
I make sure he gets the right dosage, then he swallows a benzodiazepine, something new that was prescribed to help calm him during what they assume to be schizophrenic episodes.
I turn the TV on to a music channel, hoping the songs will drown out the voices for him. “medicine” by onte plays.
A few minutes pass of him breathing and watching me get clean clothes ready. “You should leave,” he says. “If you’re caught with me, they’ll arrest you too.”
“I’m not leaving you,” I say, slipping into the bathroom to turn on the shower. “Come on.”
The tears don’t start until I’m stripping him of his clothing,and he keeps apologising to me for everything. He thinks he keeps blacking out. He can’t control anything. He doesn’t know what to do. He doesn’t want to die.
He wants us to be together but has no idea how, especially now.
I help him into the shower, and he pulls me in. Warm water cascades over us from two different shower heads, and my dress is quickly soaked. I move wet hair from my face and grab a sponge, cleaning off the evidence from Kade’s body.
His muscles pull taut at the touch of the sponge, and he flinches a little. He’s still tanned from being all over the world, with far more scars than he had a year ago, and his hands are trembling as he tries to take the sponge from me.
I let him take it, and after he pulls the straps of my dress down, one at a time, it pools at my feet. He uses the sponge on my body, and my eyes burn. I know this could be one of the last times we ever spend together.
I’m not wearing a bra, and he doesn’t try to remove my panties, because this isn’t a time to have sex.
“I love you,” I tell him, my voice cracking. “No matter what happens next, please know that.”
The sponge stops at my neck, then it drops at our feet beside my dress as his finger traces my pulse. “I bruised you. Where I grabbed your neck earlier, you have a bruise. I hurt you. I knew I was doing it, but I couldn’t stop, even though my mind was yelling at me to let go of you. I never wanted to hurt you.”
“I think you dissociated,” I say.
