Page 85 of Restitution
She giggles, and my fingers freeze over the screen for a second.
“Aria said Archie is still alive. What are you going to do with him? Are you going to go after Bernadette?”
I ignore her, because I can only focus on one thing at a time, and my thumbs are shaking while I try to type my number into her phone. I’ve input it wrong twice already.
“Are you going to go after her?” she asks again, and I glance up to see the worry in her eyes.
Nodding, I hand her back the phone. “Yeah. I’m going after them all.”
The idea of getting on with my life without watching them burn makes me rage, and when she notices the shift in my mood, she stops asking questions.
I step back from Stacey when our fingers touch and her breath hitches. I move away enough that I can’t smell her shampoo. “Go to sleep,” I say. “Text me, but don’t feel like you need to.”
She wraps her arms around herself. “Goodnight, Kade.”
I don’t say anything back as I watch her slip into the room and close the door. The urge to open it and beg her for forgiveness smacks into me, but I can’t let myself drop the control I’ve cultivated.
I need to stay focused.
My phone vibrates in my pocket while I find the dogs andhead to my room.
Unknown Number: Is it weird I’m all giddy as if I’ve just been on a first date?
Me: Were you nervous?
Stacey: Very…
Me: I’m sorry.
She types, deletes, types then deletes again. Then there’s nothing. Should I have pushed the conversation? Flirted with her? Admit that spending those ten minutes with her quietened the voices in my head?
I pull off my top and shorts then toss them at the basket and climb into the shower. The water scalds my skin as I press my forehead to the tiles.
The walls close in around me, and I struggle to breathe.
I want you to call me Stacey. Would that get you hard? Close your eyes and imagine I’m her. If you don’t get hard, Kade, I’ll go get Archie.
That’s it, such a good boy. Fuck her harder in front of all of us.
Now put a bullet in her head.
Good boy.
Good boy.
Good boy.
The tile cracks as I drive my fist into it.
27
KADE
The next night, while in a briefing with some of my team – with Barry on a video call – to discuss where Bernadette is and her next steps, I realise a lot of my shit is still at my apartment in Stirling.
Mainly, my laptop and paperwork.
Some of the guys were going to go up, but I refuse. I want to go.
