Page 77 of Restitution
He sighs and uses his free hand to pull his boxers up the rest of the way. His eyes flicker to the side, his cheeks going flush. “I need you to help me with…” He glances at his shorts. “I won’t be able to… My hands hurt.”
I get to my feet. “Of course,” I say, folding the towel aside and helping him into his shorts. “You need help with anything, I’m here.”
He stays silent, staring at the ground and rubbing his hand down his face and sighing.
His blue eyes flick up at me. “How do I know any of this is real?” It’s a serious question – I can tell from the look on his face.
I slant my head. “Do you think it is?”
“I don’t know, and it’s fucking annoying me. There were gunshots and yelling, but it all stopped. You’re covered in blood. It makes no sense. But you’re here… helping me. And my dad and brother are here – they were in the forest. It all seems too good to be true.”
I gulp down a solid rock lodged in my throat. “Kade, I need you to listen carefully, okay?”
“Can you ask Jason to come up here? I need to talk to him.” He blows out a breath, shaking his head. “I fucked up bad, Stacey. I beat the shit out of him for that video.”
“He understands.”
“Regardless, he deserves an apology from me.” He stands, rolls his jaw and blinks a few times. “We were close, you know? I always went to him for shit. I want my big brother back.”
I release a crackly sob and try to hold back tears. “Kade…”
“What?”
Before I can speak, he frowns in confusion and looks around the room when two people start yelling outside, just below his window. One is Russian and angry, and the other is Barry.
“Wait.” He steps back. “Youaren’treal, are you? This is all in my fucking head again.”
“No,” I reply, taking his hand and placing it against my cheek. “It’s me. I’m real.”
He gives me a wary look, searching my face. “I don’t know. You’re always there, but you’re not.”
“I am,” I urge, moving closer. “I’m here, Kade. I’m never going to be anywhere else. I promise.”
His thumb swipes against my skin, against the wetness from the tears on my cheek. “But why are you crying? Why are you covered in blood?” He pulls his hand away, the pad of his thumb coated with his brother’s blood. “What the fuck is happening?”
A car door slams outside. I hear Base yelling in Russian.
I bite my lip and close my eyes, burying my face into his palm. My chest shudders in a sob, and I try to take a breath that doesn’t rattle my body and fail. Saliva builds in my mouth as I screw my eyes shut, feeling the world around me shrinking.
“Hey,” he says softly. “Talk to me, Freckles. Why are you so sad? Did Chris hurt you again?”
I shake my head, my chest tightening. “No. Chris is dead,” I reply with a wobbly bottom lip, opening my eyes to look at him. “We killed him. Me and you. He can never hurt us again.”
“Never again,” he repeats with a frown, and I nod. “But that’s not why you’re crying. Was it me?”
I heave in breaths. “Was what you?”
“Did I hurt you again? I can’t remember much from the lastfew days, and I think I hurt you.”
“No.” I strangle out the word. “You’ve never hurt me, Kade.”
“I don’t know.” His unfocused gaze drops to the floor between us. “Can you get Jason for me?”
I freeze, my breathing stuttering in my chest and rendering me speechless. I’ve dragged this out for too long, and now we’re standing mere centimetres apart, and I want to hug him. I want him to let me hug him, but I don’t know his limits.
I miss him so much, yet he’s right here.
“Earlier, I wasn’t myself. I remember his voice. I need to see him. Fuck, I’m such a fucking asshole.” The last word is gritted out, and he shakes his head again. “I pushed him away when he needed me the most. I pushed you both away.”
