Page 50 of Restitution
16
STACEY
Idon’t stop until I reach the upstairs bathroom, vomiting up my guts. Chris’s blood is on my hands, now staining the toilet lid. I stabbed him. Multiple times. I stabbed him, and I liked it. I wanted to stab him again, to hurt him, but I couldn’t focus.
Am I a monster?
I can hear Tobias laughing. I’ve never noticed how evil his laugh sounds.
I blink through my tears, wiping my mouth and pulling away from the toilet to lean against the wall. Blood on my skin, the aftermath of my orgasm on my underwear, the feeling of Kade’s fingers inside me…
I gulp and close my eyes, trying to stay calm.There’s a knock at the door, but I ignore it. Another knock, and I croak, “Come in.”
Jason pokes his head in. “I heard you— What the fuck happened?” He rushes in and drops in front of me, inspecting the blood. “This isn’t yours.”
I shake my head. “No.”
“Is he dead?”
I shrug. “I don’t know.”
He grabs a towel and soaks it, cleaning my hand and arm. “Tobias told Aria to keep him alive. He wants him to suffer.”
“I want him dead,” I whisper. “I want all of this to be over with.”
“Me too,” he replies, rubbing blood from my cheek. “Barry thinks Bernadette is planning to attack here. We should leave – find somewhere else to hide.”
I nod, unfazed. “You don’t want to go down?”
“No.” Jason sighs, sitting against the bathtub in front of me. “Does it make me weak? Not being able to go down there?”
“No. Not everyone enjoys watching people suffer.”
“I want him to suffer,” he says. “But knowing it’s my brother that’s doing it makes me uneasy. He should be in university like he was supposed to be.”
I hum. “Yeah. All our lives would be a lot different if it wasn’t for Chris. I should have told Kade back when we were eighteen. Maybe we’d all be safe.”
“Bernadette didn’t target Kade because of Christopher. I hope you aren’t putting the blame on yourself for this mess.”
A tear slides down my cheek. “I don’t know how to feel differently. Chris only came for you because of me. I didn’t only ruin my own relationship; I ruined yours.”
Jason leans forward and grabs my hand. “Stop. Stop blamingyourself.”
“Promise me you’ll win her back.”
He nods. “I promise. I’ll stay clean and get my shit together. I need to— She was—” He stops. “I need to get better for them both. Getting my brother back is more important.”
“You’re a good person, Jason. I’m sorry life handed us such a horrible hand. You both need to sit down and talk. Preferably when you’re both in the right headspace. Kade loves you; he was always talking about you when we were together. He looked up to you.”
Jason gives me a tight smile. “I’ll try. I couldn’t before because… because I was a coward.”
“I was too.”
He helps me up and hands me the towel to try to get the blood from my hair, but I give up. He goes to bed, and I pull on a hoodie and trainers.
When I walk back into the kitchen, the room is in darkness, and the screams downstairs have stopped, but I can see a strip of light running along the bottom of the basement door. I tiptoe down to see Kyle sitting in front of Chris, Aria beside him, Tobias in the corner.
There’s blood everywhere. I don’t think there’s one part of Chris that’s not red. His skin is slit open all over. They all look up at me as I reach halfway down the steps.
