Page 39 of Restitution
I shake my head and lift my hand to her hair. “I’m not going to shoot you. I wanted to speak to you where she couldn’t hear me,” I say, wetting my lips. “Everything I’ve been doing since that contract, she’s been there. In my head – and watching me. I couldn’t stand the chance of her finding out—” I stop, and it’s then I taste my own salty tear on my lips, soaking through the material. “She couldn’t find out that I…”
She backs away from me. She’s pale and looks exhausted. “Find out what?”
I swallow a lump threatening to suffocate me and force out the words, even though they’re muffled through the material covering my mouth. “That I’m still in love with you.”
“You’re not,” she replies, her cheeks soaked. “If you were still in love with me, we wouldn’t have just spent years in hell, Kade. If you were in love with me, you would have stayed by my side when I tried to tell you the truth a year ago. You don’t love me – I’m just someone you used to have in your life when it was normal, so you hold on to the thought of me.”
“That’s not even slightly true. If I could go back, I’d go back to the very beginning with you. I’d protect you and our daughter and hide you both from the ugliness of the world.”
“There is no going back,” she replies, her voice shaking fromboth the coldness around us and the terror I’ve put her through. “Our girl is dead, and so is our relationship.”
“I’m sorry,” I whisper. “I love you.”
“Please stop saying that, Kade,” she says, sniffing, her jaw shaking. “I want you free from the Sawyers – can you just hurry up and complete your contract? I have nothing left, but you have a family waiting for you to come home. Please. Please let me give you this.”
Carefully, my boots move forward again, carrying me towards her until her back presses to the SUV. “I would rather kill myself. I did what I had to do to get us here. I had to apologise to you. I’m not going to complete the contract.”
Stacey shakes her head. “Then she’ll kill you.”
“I’m aware.”
She flinches as I tuck a curl behind her ear.
“I’ll deal with Bernadette. I just needed to apologise. You don’t have to ever forgive me, but I want you to know that if I had all the time in the world, I would spend it trying to win you back. I’d prove myself worthy of you, Stacey. Because there hasn’t been a day that’s passed where you haven’t kept me going. My love might not be enough for you, but it’s all I have left. I love you. I love you so fucking much that I want to live.”
She doesn’t pull her hand away. “Then live. Finish your assignment.” Her breaths are uneven as she shakes. “Please live for me.”
I close my eyes. “I can’t.”
Tyres screech in the distance, and we both snap our heads in the direction of the cars heading straight for us.
“Finish the task, Kade,” she demands, stepping out of my hold. “We have no future together, but you can have one. Love isn’t enough to fix us. Even your kind of love.” Her head turns to lookat the SUVs speeding towards us, then her pleading expression is back on me. “Please shoot me. Please. Before she reaches us.”
I narrow my eyes. “That’s not Bernadette. Barry must’ve tracked your phone.” I turn and head for my bike, snatching up my gun from the ground. “Motherfucker.”
When I grab my helmet and throw my leg over the bike, Stacey takes my arm. “Please stay. You don’t need to do this alone.” Her eyes are desperate. “Please.” She tugs. “They can help you. You can still finish your assignment. I’ll be okay. I promise I’m okay with dying to save you.”
I shrug my arm free, fixing the covering over my mouth when it slips. “I’m not fucking shooting you, Stacey. And them helping will only get everyone killed.”
Stacey grabs one of the bike’s handles. “Tell me what you said in the voicemail.”
I stop trying to twist the key, dropping my head. “It’s a bit pointless now, don’t you think?” I look up at her and pull down my visor. “Like you said, we’re done. We didn’t have a chance anyway. It was always going to be me or you who died today, and I would never let anything happen to you. I just needed time to say I was sorry before it was too late.”
Her hand snaps out to grab my gloved fingers, the other pulling up my visor. “I want to know what you said in the voicemail.”
The doors fly open in the distance. Boots hit the ground – people are running towards us – but my eyes are on Stacey.
She moves closer, gripping my hand like I’ll vanish on the spot. Her forehead is nearly touching the helmet. “What did you say in the voicemail?”
I lift my free hand to her face, my fingers spasming over thegash on her cheek. Instead of telling her what I said, I smile, even though she can’t see my mouth. “The first time I saw you, I was yours. I’ll always be yours, Freckles. Our girl will be proud of the woman you’ve become. You’ll both always be my girls.”
Before she can respond, I lift my gaze over her shoulder to see Barry coming towards us, his gun raised, pointing straight at me. “Get the fuck away from her,” he warns. “I don’t give a fuck who you are, sir. Stacey is my priority.”
I raise a brow and glance at Stacey, who shakes her head, raising her voice enough for him to hear. “No, don’t shoot! He’s okay!”
Barry stops, his eyes flickering between the two of us, realising I’m not trying to kill her – and lowers his aim. Before he can say anything, my dad grabs him by the nape, ordering him never to point a gun at his son again before shoving him aside.
Mum is crying. Jason and Ewan are holding her hands to comfort her while my dad marches towards me looking more than pissed off.
