Page 17 of Skating and Fake Dating
I bite back a smile. “I’ll let you know when I figure it out.”
Carson’s caffeine or fatigue must catch up with him because he blurts, “Sorry. That was a stupid question. I don’t believe in true love. Not anymore.”
I sputter my sip of coffee. “That’s insane.”
“I’ve heard that the definition of insanity is repeating the same thing over again and expecting different results,” he says as if he refuses to entertain repeating anything having to do with relationships.
I twist in my seat to face him. “How can you not believe in love?”
His expression is flat, dim.
Does this mean he was hurt?
In a challenging tone, he says, “Define love.”
“Well, it’s when you really care about a person.”
“I care about my mom, but it’s not the same kind of love.”
“When you love someone, you think about them all the time.”
He waggles his eyebrows. “Pizza is always on my mind.”
I want to laugh, but I’m afraid he’s serious. Not the pizza part because I could go for a slice, yes, even for breakfast. For him, is love just a fairy tale that other people believe in?
I add to my definition, “Love is when you want what’s best for the other person.”
“And the feeling should be mutual,” he says measuredly.
“Unless it’s unrequited,” I say in a small voice, hitting on a sore spot.
As we dip into a valley, Carson focuses on the foggy road ahead. I wonder if it’s a tender place for him, too.
But I cannot stop banging this drum. “You can’t not believe in true love.”
“It’s not real. It’s an illusion.”
Tongue loose, I ask, “What exactly makes you say that?”
Taking a deep breath, he says, “After over ten years together, I finally proposed to my high school sweetheart last spring. She declined. Dumped me. Turns out, after all that time we’d invested in each other, she found another boyfriend while I was away.”
“That’s harsh.”
“Is it any worse than your ex marrying your cousin with the ring he intended for you?”
Frowning, I shake my head. “If you’re trying to get me to agree with you that love isn’t real, that’s not happening.”
“My agent said it affected my performance and may have contributed to this trade. He says I have to improve my image and could do that with a stable relationship to dispel rumors of me being difficult.” The fog remains thick and it seems so areCarson’s thoughts when he adds, “I don’t think faking love will solve the problem. If anything, it’ll contribute to it.”
I snort. “Funny, my friend suggested I bring a fake date to the wedding. Said if my cousin and my ex saw that I’d happily moved on, they’d feel bad for deceiving me.”
He counters, “But it would be fake. See? Love isn’t real.”
“You can’t possibly believe that.”
“I can and I do. But I rather like the idea of vicarious revenge.”
“What do you mean?”
