Page 37 of The Ex Puck Bunny
The drop is long, I would know. And it’s not like I wish her harm. Just humility.
I say, “Sophia is awful. But I was too.”
“And now?”
“Some people shoot for the moon. Others break through glass ceilings. I’m focused on the floor—doing the minimum to get through the day, the baseline. Because sometimes that needs to be enough.” I blink rapidly, not sure why I revealed that to Grady and how sometimes single motherhood is Struggle Town.
Wearing the sweetest, most unexpectedly genuine smile, he asks, “Is there anything I can do to help?”
I tell myself not to notice how his toned forearm rests on the truck’s door window ledge. Or the way his green eyes twinkle. Or his full lips and how they play with words.
Bunny calls to me from the car, slapping me out of this moment of temporary insanity. I must be tired.
Grady waves to her and she lights up. It’s strange, but it’s like the two of them have a connection. Maybe it’s because Grady is best friends with her uncle and Derek gave him cooties.
But he’s also so not a brother because I’d never kiss mine like that. Or think about his lips on mine. Or replay the kiss as I fall asleep.
Heidi, it was a silly dream.
I shoo the butterflies away—the ones in my belly and not the Red Admirals and Monarchs that’ve been swarming my mother’s forsythia bush. She says it’s blooming early this year.
While I know that it’s important to build a solid group of people for Bunny who she knows she can count on, especially since her father turned out to be a dud, I still don’t trust my judge of character.
“If you ever need a helping hand or want to hang out . . .” Grady starts.
“We’re going to the park this afternoon and could use a catcher.” The words are out of my mouth before I can stop them. I blame the butterflies!
Grady’s clean, soapy, masculine scent wafts my way.
“Like baseball? Wrong sport. I play hockey.”
A thin smile rises to my lips. “I’m keenly aware. I meant at the bottom of the slide. There’s a long one that Bunny loves. I have to go to the top with her, but it’s too narrow for us to ride together. Plus, she’s at the age where she wants to do everything herself. It’s a fast, slippery slide, and I can’t get to the bottom to catch her in time, so if you wanted to?—?”
“Sounds fun.”
“Hanging out with me and an almost two-year-old sounds fun? Said no hockey player ever.”
“This one just did. The other night, at Derek’s, we built a fort out of the couch cushions and then were jumping off?—”
I hold up my hand. “Say no more. My mama-nerves can’t handle it.” I cannot fathom having a son with all the horsing around.
We make plans for when to meet later. After I buckle my seatbelt and check the rearview mirror, I notice the giant smile on my face. I try to wipe it away, but like the bratty little rebel it is, that only encourages it to grow. The butterflies aren’t helping either.
I don’t know what possessed me to invite Grady to the park, but I convince myself that it’s so I can tell him that while I appreciate his offer to pay me to help him with social media, it’s a pass.
Granted, I need the money and it would be doing something I enjoy and am good at . . . however, it’ll be a hot day in an ice rink before I let myself get involved with hockey players again.
Bunny and I have lunch and then she takes a nap. She’s down to about forty-five minutes and always wakes up singing to herself. It’s the sweetest thing.
Meanwhile, I continue to talk myself out of assisting Grady with his comeback campaign. It would be too much work. I check him out on social media. There are plenty of images and videos captured and posted by others of a tall, burly man with a smile that tells me everything I need to know about him. Grady is charismatic, capable, and confident. But can I trust him?
A dark thought enters my mind. Is my heart that valuable? After what happened with Trey, I should protect it at all costs. Put it behind a fence like conservation land and never share it with anyone again. But maybe none of it matters. Who cares what happens to my heart?
Then, thinking about my daughter's future which willcome way too soon, her heart is priceless, and no doubt my mom feels the same about mine.
I let out a long breath.
While kissing Grady is amazing and being lonely is not, am I just tricking myself?
