Page 5 of Margo and the Faux Good Luck Beau
Thanks, Celeste.
I ignore my device, lighting up with responses of all the couples replying that, of course, they’re bringing their spouses.
It started like this: I love helping people create their special day, leaving little time to find someone to say my I dos to. But that’s okay. Mostly. I believe the right person is out there. I’m only twenty-three (and intend to remain this old for as long as possible because no one in my family has remained single past the age of twenty-five). I’ve lived in the city long enough to know that I could dip out. Stand up and tell them I’m doing things my way and there is nothing wrong with being unmarried at twenty-three.
I repeat, THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH BEING SINGLE.
I want to tell them to calm down, to relax. There’s plenty of time. All of this is true.
However, if you’ve met any of the Ward-Cabots or the auxiliary people who’ve somehow been absorbed into my family, then you’ll know the pressure is real.
And despite my family’s flaws, shortcomings, and—I’ll usemymanners here—quirks, they were there for me when I needed help getting off the couch. Like serious help. Professional and familial. Without realizing it, they were a steady anchor when I was cast out to sea—a sea of corn, considering I hail from landlocked Nebraska, but still.
The first year of college was okay. The second was a doozy. So doozy-ing that I never went back. It took me a year to recover. It’s smooth sailing now, but rough seas are no joke. If you know, you know.
Finally, I reply to Maxine, being as diplomatic as possible.
Me: Would you like me to forward my guest status information to your event planner?
Yeah, I’m guilty of trying to get her to reveal that there is no such person and the money her mother and stepfather earmarked for the event planner is going to Maxine’s casino cruise honeymoon fund.
Maxine: I’m in touch with her.
Celeste: Does this mean you’re bringing someone? Dish, sis.
Selby: Luis has a friend who’s recently single. He rides a motorcycle and owns a winery. Well, he will once he gets some things straightened out. I guess he can’t find his driver’s license or something.
Somehow, I think riding a motorcycle and wine are an ill-advised combination.
Mom: You all text too fast. I’m trying to catch up. I spoke with Mona this morning and Lana is bringing her husband. Thank goodness he got the time off.
Mona: I’m here. Also, Cade and Willa have to bring the kids.
Maxine: They cannot bring Indigo and Sage. You saw what happened at the engagement party.
Celeste: But what about Margo?
Me: What about me?
No less than five people ask if I’m bringing a date. I tell myself I have other things to do, then get trolled by my own family.
Celeste: At this rate, Margo is the most likely to bring home a cat and then keep collecting them. We can call her Margo the Cat Lady.
Me: What’s wrong with cats?
Selby: Mrs. Gormely has cats.
Celeste: And a husband, so she can’t be a cat lady.
Me: I’m more of a dog person, but seriously, what is wrong with cats?
Celeste: Lucky for me, I’m allergic to both.
She’s also allergic to children and kindness, but I digress.
It’s no surprise they’re piling on. It’s only gotten worse over the years. It’s not like I’m the only twenty-three-year-old on the planet who is single. It’s not weird.
Mom: More importantly, Margo, do you have a date?!?
