Page 71 of Tharn's Hunt
I say nothing. What is there to say? I am caught in a trap of my own making. The closer I stay to Jah-kee, the more her presence soothes the ache in my chest, yet the space between us still tears at me. But to move away, to widen that space...
I tried that once, when I stepped outside the cave to check for threats. Three steps beyond the entrance, and the pain dropped me to my knees, stealing the breath from my lungs and the strength from my limbs. Only crawling back to where I could see her sleeping form had eased the agony enough for me to function.
"She will come to you," Rok projects with quiet certainty. "When she is ready."
"And if she is never ready?" The question escapes before I can stop it. So raw and desperate. Not like me at all. "If she chooses to return to her world? If she rejects the bond?"
Rok is silent for a long moment, his gaze turning to where Jus-teen rests beside Jah-kee. The softness in his eyes when he looks at her makes my chest ache with a different kind of pain.
"Then you will have a choice to make, brother," he finally projects. "As I did."
I do not ask what choice he means. I am not sure I want to know.
Instead, I return my attention to Jah-kee, watching the gentle rise and fall of her chest, listening to the soft sounds of her breathing. For now, she is safe. She is healing. It is enough.
It has to be.
Three sols passin the cave, each more agonizing than the last.
Jah-kee grows stronger, eating the meat Rok and Jus-teen bring back from their hunts, walking short distances without assistance. Her water eyes are clear now, her movements more certain. Soon, she will be well enough to travel to the clan caves.
And I will still be trapped in this pain that never ends.
The bond has changed. It no longer eases when I am near her. Now the pain is constant, gnawing at me from within, whether I stand at her side or across the cave. It lessens slightly when our eyes meet. Those rare, fleeting moments when she forgets to look away. But even that small relief is temporary.
My body is breaking apart, yet I cannot let her see.
I am a hunter. I am strong. I will endure.
"We should leave tomorrow," Jus-teen vocalizes as we gather around the small fire for the evening meal. "The others will be worried about us." She releases a breath from the center of her chest. “And I have a lot of explaining to do.”
Rok rumbles in agreement,his hand resting lightly on Jus-teen's smaller one. "Yes. We must reach the clan caves soon."
Jah-kee shifts slightly, her gaze lowered to the food in her hands. "How far is it?"
Jus-teen glances at Rok for confirmation before vocalizing. "Four or so days' journey," she answers. "If we move quickly."
"And the others?" Jah-kee asks, her voice stronger now than it was three sols ago. "You say they’re with more of Tharn’s people?" Her gaze shifts to me just briefly.
Jus-teen does the chin jerk movement. “They are safe.”
I watch the tension ease from Jah-kee's shoulders, relief washing over her features. She cares deeply for her kind, worries for their safety. It is an admirable trait, one that stirs something warm in my chest despite the constant pain.
"Are you ready for such a journey, Jah-kee?" I project without thinking.
Jus-teen glances at me, then turns to her sister. "Tharn wants to know if you're ready to travel that far."
Jah-kee's gaze flicks to me before skittering away again. "I'll be fine," she says, her voice firm despite the flush that creeps up her neck. "I'm stronger now."
I get the hazy image of her vibrant and strong. Of her facing the dust and travelling far.
She is stronger, yes. But is she strong enough? The dust shows no mercy to the weak, and four sols' journey is no small challenge even for one in perfect health.
Yet I say nothing. It is not my place to question her assessment of her strength. And perhaps... perhaps the sooner we reach the clan caves, the sooner this pain will end. One way or another.
"Then we leave at dawn," Rok declares, rising to his feet. "We should rest while we can."
As the others prepare for sleep, I take my customary position near the cave entrance, standing guard. It is easier this way. Easier to maintain the distance Jah-kee seems to prefer. Easier to hide the tremors that occasionally shake my frame as the pain crescendos.
