Page 6 of Inadmissible
He sucked his teeth like he normally did when he wasn’t trying to hear what I had to say.
“You know I don’t give a fuck about that shit. I told that mane if he hurt you, I was going to hurt him. And that was on who?”
Rolling my eyes, I couldn’t help but chuckle. “On you.”
“On meee,” he almost sang, beating his chest with his fist and making me laugh even more.
“I missed you, Ty.” My eyes blinked rapidly as they watered. “You abandoned me, big brother.”
His shoulders deflated as he ran his tongue over his cheek. “Don’t say it like that, Taj. You gon’ make me feel bad.”
“You did,” I argued, looking out of the window to avoid the sight of him making me cry. “You left me. That’s abandonment.”
“That wasn’t my intention. I just couldn’t watch you be with a nigga that I knew didn’t deserve you, Sis. You know I take being your protector seriously. When you told me he was with someone else when y’all met, Itoldyou to watch that shit. Even with him telling you he broke up with her before y’all gottogether, I told you that was probably a lie. And then what? She blasted him on social media for cheating even though he kept telling you that she was lying because she was mad he broke up with her.
“Fast forward, and you find out he cheated on you. Now I might not have the highest GPA between the two of us, but common sense told me if he cheated with you and on you once that he’d do that shit again. And if he married you and cheated, I was liable to kill his ass. So . . . I decided if he was going to be in your life, there was no space for me in it.”
“Well, you don’t have to worry about that anymore. I’m not going to marry him. Hell, I probably will never get married now.”
“Aww, come on, little sis. Don’t say that.”
“It’s true, Ty. I don’t know what it is about me that attracts these trash ass men, but I’m done.”
“You wanna know what it is?” he asked, causing me to look over at him as I nodded. “Your light. Your warmth. Your goodness. There’s a part of you that loves the challenge of fixing people. Helping people. Healing people. The men you’re most attracted to always have issues like Pops had. Maybe a part of you wants what’s familiar. And maybe a part of you wants to prove to yourself a man like him can be faithful to rewrite their history. To rewrite our childhood. Either way, if you change your type, you’ll change the men you entertain. And if you change the men you entertain, you’ll change the way you’re treated and the things you tolerate.”
“I’m tired of crying,” I confessed before chuckling and wiping my tears.
“Let that shit out, Sis. It’s cleansing. Big brother back now, though, and youknowI got you.”
All I could do was nod, because I was afraid my voice would crack if I spoke. I felt peace in my brother’s protection andpresence and vowed to never turn away from his guidance again. But I honestly couldn’t say if I would need it when it came to relationships, because I wasn’t sure when I’d try again—if ever.
“Oh, he’s either real brave or real crazy,” Tyler said when we pulled up to my apartment and saw Destin standing by the door. “I’m glad I listened to my intuition and came here instead of going back home.”
“Big brother, please. Don’t touch him. Look at that knot on his head and his black eye. You’ve doneenough.”
Tyler didn’t bother responding as he got out of the car. Normally I’d wait for him to let me out, but I opted to let myself out instead. If I waited, there was a chance he’d make a beeline toward Destin.
“Tyler,” I called, grabbing his arm to slow his pace.
“I’m not gon’ touch him. I just wanna know why he’s here.”
“I want to know too, but let me handle it, okay?”
He looked down at me with eyes reminiscent of mine. “Aight, Taj. You got it. I’ma hop in the shower real quick and order some food. You got a taste for anything specific?”
“No. You know what I want to eat.”
The sad smile he gave me was almost enough to make me want to cry again. When I was sad or heartbroken, I never had an appetite. The only thing I could force myself to eat just to avoid starving was creamy chicken and noodles. When RJ and I broke up, I ate chicken and noodles every day for three months. That was how I knew I was healed enough to get back to myself—when I woke up one morning wanting waffles.
“You got the ingredients? I’ll make it for you.”
Shaking my head I told him, “Nah. I’ll have to do a delivery order.”
“I’ll take care of it, Sis.”
His eyes were on Destin as he intentionally walked just inches away from him, and Destin avoided his eyes. Had I not been so upset with Destin, I would have found his fear of my brother comical. Destin waited until Tyler closed the door to look at me. When he took a step toward me, I took a step back. Lifting my hands, I made it clear I wanted him nowhere near me.
“Can we talk?” he almost whispered.
