Page 22 of Inadmissible
Turning slightly in Tristan’s arms, I told him, “Dinner tonight sounds great, angel. Seven, right?”
His brows bunched for just a moment before he smiled and nodded. “Right. I’ll see you then.”
After placing a quick, sweet kiss on his lips, I walked away. I didn’t always judge people based on their acquaintances, but being connected to Destin had me questioning Carson. I could understand his desire to help Destin, but I didn’t think he was capable of change. If Carson wanted to waste his time on him, who was I to judge?
By the time I made it to my car, I had a text from Tristan.
Pierce: I know you said that to make your ex mad. I’m not expecting you to actually join me tonight.
Before responding, I called my mom. I knew if I called Tyler, he’d tell me to go just because he liked the fact that I was dealing with a man who was just as wild and protective as he was. Well, maybe not as wild as my brother. And Emilia would tell me to go because Tristan was fine as hell. I didn’t want my exes to steal my desire for love or my ability to date and trust men, but I had to accept the truth that that’s what I was currently operating out of—fear and mistrust because of them.
“Hey, baby,” she answered sweetly, lowering the volume on the TV.
“Hey, Ma. How’s your day going?”
“Good. You still coming over for dinner tomorrow, right?”
“Yes, ma’am. I’ll be there. I need advice.”
“I’ll certainly try to help.”
“There’s this guy . . .” I couldn’t stop the smile that overtook my face. “We’ve been working closely together this month, but we met a year ago. It was right after I found out about Destin and Trenae, and I wasn’t in a good place at all.” A shaky breath escaped me as my eyes watered. “Anyway, Tristan helped me when I needed it most, and I never forgot about his kindness.Fast forward to now, we’re working together, but he’s made it very clear he wants to be with me.”
“Do you want to be with him?”
“I don’t know. I am attracted to him. I don’t know him well enough to say.”
“Hmm. Let me ask you this. How do you feel when you’re with him?”
“Good. Safe. Wanted. Valued. I always enjoy myself with him. Even when we’re working. We balance each other and challenge each other. I love the way his mind works and the way he helps me learn more.”
“When you first meet a man, you’re not actually attracted to him, because you don’t know him. You’re attracted to the way you feel with him and the things he willingly shows you. I think you should take your time, but if you enjoy yourself with him, date him. It doesn’t have to be serious. Just have some fun.”
“That makes sense. I noticed in past relationships, I started to see changes in men after three months, six months, and a year. By the time they started showing their true colors, I was already hooked and attached.”
“Exactly. If you take your time and give him the space to reveal as many parts of himself as possible, you’ll be good. The biggest thing is to be with someone who not only has the same priorities and principles as you, but who actually shows them to you in real time. For example, I wanted a man with money.
“What I should have wanted was a generous, giving man who was financially stable. Doesn’t matter if he has money if he’s stingy or doesn’t want to provide. Or if he uses it for control. Don’t pay attention to the man who takes you to a fancy dinner. Pay attention to the man who tips well. Who asks what you like and feeds that to you. Don’t pay attention to the man who says he isn’t a cheater. Look at his circle. His parents and siblings, his friends. Look at his discipline and self-respect.
“Does he have daily habits? Does he take care of himself? There are things you can look for to help you feel safer with a man beyond just having to take his word for whohesays he is. Don’t just take what he says as truth. Confirm it with his actions. And if at any point you stop feeling as good as you do in the beginning or if he changes, end it immediately.”
“I take it you learned this by what you didn’t have with Daddy?”
She chuckled. “Yes. It’s easy to learn what you want when you aren’t getting it and what you don’t want when you are.” Ma sighed. “Enough of that though. Go out with the man, baby. Life is too short to spend it holding on to the last man’s horrible choices. You deserve to be loved well, and if you believe this man can do that, give him a chance. And if you can’t, use him to get your feet wet. And that other thing wet too.”
Gasping, I dropped my mouth before laughing. “Ma! I amnotdiscussing that with you.”
“Chile, you came out of my pussy, and I wiped yours for quite some time. I think it’s safe for us to have this conversation.”
“On that note, thanks, Ma. I gotta go.”
She laughed as she said, “See you tomorrow, Taj. I love you.”
“I love you too.”
The remnants of my laughter faded away as I ended the call.
She’d given me a different perspective.
