Page 61 of Fire Island
I fall to the ground, legs tangled underneath me. Finally looking up, I find Eve waiting, tears coursing down her cheeks, sobbing breaths chugging from her like this cuts her the same as it does me.
I bleed, she bleeds.
In this one moment, I understand what she is to me.
Everything.
It only took the worst blow of my life to figure it out.
I reach for her, and she drops into my lap. I fold her in my arms, and she palms my face before dropping her head to my chest. I let the tears fall over my cheeks. They soak into my beard and then into her hair. Neither of us moves from the spot when the Coast Guard boat rumbles to life.
I should apologize to Em.
It’s not his fault.
God, I’ll get around to it as soon as I take care of my girl. I hold her tighter, breathing her in.
Ava can go die in a hole for all I care.
But hell, I want to know what became of the baby.
So much it twists my heart on its axis.
How many years did I wish to the heavens I’d just met this kid? Had the chance to hold my baby. To be a father.
I toss and turn through the twisted sheet. My mind is racing at light speed, and I have no hope of slowing it down. Every interaction, every moment I thought I remembered right is under scrutiny. How the hell did an entire town lie to me, and not one person slip up?
It seems impossible.
I’m alone. Eve insisted she still sleep in the hut until my memories return. But all I want is to be close to her. The memories would be nice, but now I understand who she is to me. At least, I think I do.
I guess I won’t truly fathom that until my mind rights itself. That’s what eats me, gnawing its way down to the bone. After all I’ve lost, it feels right that what lies between Eve and I was something... deep.
“Urgh! Fuck me.” I sit up, rubbing my hands down my face. “Christ above.”
I wander downstairs to grab a mug of water. The small lantern hanging in the hut is still on. I glance at the time on the wall clock by the bookshelf.
Midnight, or near enough to it.
Eve’s up late.
I head for the door before I realize I’m only wearing boxers and it’s the middle of the damn night. Hesitating, I turn back and head for the stairs. The last thing I want to do is force something that may or may not be between us.
The second my head hits the pillow, memories of Ava file in, contrasting with the woman I saw this morning. The shock rattles me for the hundredth time around. And I wonder how much of a choice she had when we were young. She was barely seventeen when we got pregnant. Still a kid in most people’s eyes.
How much of her disappearance was her parents?
Knowing the way things went down, she probably had as much say in it as I did. But why wait twenty fucking years to come back? Why come back at all?
I fully intend to have my questions answered the moment I calm down enough to have a civilized conversation. The moon shines her silvery beams over the wooden floor, and I finally relax, weary from the day’s drama.
Heaviness creeps in, and I stretch, willing myself to surrender to it.
My eyes shutter closed. I turn my head to the side, and oblivion finds me.
I’m floating. No—lying on Firefly’s deck. Something touches my hand. I turn to find her. The sun is setting to the west, lighting the sky up with its pastel pinks and oranges before it changes to gold.
The boat slips away, and I stand with my hands by my sides, my breathing labored from the axe that is in my grip. Bare-chested, a journal at my feet, I am frozen in the moment, entranced by the woman calling me out. By the fire I see in her eyes for the first time since she came to my island.
