Page 55 of Sweet Music
She headed for the front door, relieved to hear the family continue laughing and joking.
It would be so much worse if anyone thought she had been falling for Cash, or knew that she felt like a complete fool for thinking he could ever be serious about a relationship.
Tattoos and flings are practically his job,she reminded herself.I can’t take it personally. I just need to keep my distance. And make sure I talk to Cody about values if he’s going to be spending any time around someone like that.
Suddenly, she had a whole new reason to worry about Cody getting close to his father. If Cash left, that was one thing. She had never stopped to think about the damage he might do if he stuck around.
Harper had plenty of years to teach him values,she reminded herself.
Except for her one slip-up the night of the concert, Harper was never the type to behave like that. Up until just before the Cash incident, she had been engaged to her high school sweetheart for years, even if he’d turned out to be a pretty terrible guy in the end. And she had held herself to an extremely high standard from the moment she found out she was expecting. From what Bella knew, Harper had gone on a date or two over the years, but no one had ever beengood enough for Codyin Harper’s own words.
I would do well to hold myself to the same standard,Bella reminded herself.
It had honestly never been an issue before. She had gone on dates here and there, but there was never anyone who tempted her to do anything more than accept a chaste good night kiss—no one who made her heart pound, or made her feel at home with them by just being herself.
Of course, that wasn’t entirely true. There had always been one person she had been comfortable enough to share everything with. Everything but her real name…
And even if Cash clearly didn’t remember, Bella would never forget what happened the first time she’d opened her heart to him.
She put on her coat and boots and headed back out to the porch to watch the kids, who were happily trying to build a real snowman out there beside the plastic one. Cody laughed as he watched the smaller kids rolling big snow chunks around to make the body. He seemed so happy here, and relaxed in a way she hadn’t seen him in a long time.
The sight of it made her heart feel light again.
This is it—this is what my life is all about. Cash will be gone again soon enough, and it will be easier to remember my blessings when I don’t have to look at his annoyingly handsome face all the time.
19
CASH
Cash couldn’t sleep that night. After tossing and turning for hours, he finally pulled on some warm clothes and headed out to pace the front porch of the purple house for a bit.
The darkened farm was so peaceful that even just the tread of his boots on the wooden planks of the porch floor seemed too loud. He drank in the crystalline air and tried to focus his mind on the snowy fields glowing in the moonlight and the stars twinkling above.
But all he could think about was Bella.
He thought things had been going well with her, but then she had shut down on him tonight, and he had no idea why. He’d gone from feeling on top of the world to crashing out and trying to go to sleep early without any luck.
I’ve only ever felt this way about a woman once before.
And she checked out on me too.
Maybe he should have focused more of his efforts onfinding that one. Maybe he would never have a real relationship with a woman until he did.
After all, he’d bared his soul to Sweet Jane. He’d told her that he felt a connection to her like he’d never felt with anyone before.
And she had said she felt it too.
At the time, he’d thought it meant something to her. Unlike with everyone else in his life, she always seemed to understand his words in exactly the way he intended.
He’d felt like a fool the day he confessed to her that he wanted to write a song for her, and he remembered it even now.
Farmboy7:
i want to write a song for you
but i’m not good enough yet
She hadn’t responded for a moment, and he was just starting to worry that he’d gone too far when she finally did.
