Page 16 of From Ice to Home
Tomorrow is our fourth game against the Maple Leafs, and we’ll barely have time to catch our breath before heading back to New York. Maybe I could use the travel days to go find Hannah—that’s if I knew where she was.
I’m sure Coach won’t allow me to fly across the country on a wild goose chase. I still haven’t told him what happened, and I’m kind of hoping that I don’t have to. Not until I’ve spoken to Hannah. I don’t want to get the PR team involved before sorting things out with her first. This whole thing is a nightmare.
Why didn’t I just take a second to think everything through?
“Man, what’s up with you?” EJ gives me a slap on the back as he comes up from behind, done with his shower and ready to pack up his gear.
He’s my wingman, on and off the ice. He always knows my next move even before I do—definitely something that developed from hours together on the ice and has now bled into ourfriendship as well. Maybe if we all stayed together like we were supposed to, he would’ve stopped me before I made the choice to marry Hannah.
“You’ve been off since Vegas,” he says, cracking open his Gatorade. “And don’t think we didn’t notice you vanishing for a while. We had to cover for you. What happened back there?”
I run my hands through my hair, my jaw tight. I’ve been extremely lucky that no one has caught wind of what happened in Vegas. By the grace of God, there weren’t any fans with any camera phones nearby. Perhaps it helped that no one suspected the New York Rangers to spend a few days in Vegas mid-playoffs. It was the perfect ploy to get some much needed privacy and a break from all the training this season. But now I also find myself wishing somebody knew something, because I swear with each passing day, I’m wondering if it even happened. Or it was all some bizarre dream I had.
No, it couldn’t have been.
The bed smelled like her.
And I’ve got the ring to prove it. It’s now safely hanging from the chain around my neck, tucked against my chest.
“I don’t know what to tell you man, I just need some rest,” I mutter. “It’s been a long season.”
“Uh-huh,” Declan says, grabbing his towel and slinging it over his shoulder. “We’re all tired. But this, this is something else. I ain’t buying it.”
EJ nods in agreement, the scar above his eyes twitching with his frown. “You don’t have to spill it, but it’s written on your face. You’ve checked out. Whatever it is, it’s all you’re thinking about.”
I grit my teeth, feeling the truth of their words. The team depends on me to set the pace, to push through even when the season is wearing us down. And here I am, distracted by the woman I never thought I’d see again—much less marry.
Declan leans in, his eyes sharp. “You know that if one of us is off, we all feel it. So whatever it is, you’ve got to handle it.”
“I know, I know,” I say more to myself than to them. I look down at my forearm, where the tattoo I got when I first joined the Rangers is now looking back up at me.
‘Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding.’
Right now, I don’t have much of a choice but to trust Him. I have no idea what I’m supposed to do about any of this. I can’t lean on my own understanding because I don’t understand anything about what happened.
EJ and Declan exchange a look, the kind that makes my chest tighten.
“So what’s it going to be, Lucas?” EJ asks, folding his arms. “If you’re honest, maybe we can help.”
I didn’t really expect to share the news with my teammates this way. Then again, I didn’t think I’d ever be in a situation like this. But until I can get Hannah to talk to me, I have no idea how to handle this. I haven’t really prayed about it either, I haven’t told my family about any of it. I’ve been mulling over our decision this entire week, wondering how I got to this point.
My elbows dig into my knees, my hands dangling loosely between my legs as I test the weight of the truth.
“I’m married,” I mutter the words, heavy and awkward, followed by an incredulous laugh. It’s the first time I said it out loud and it sounds ridiculous. “I’m married. I got married in Vegas last week,” I say again, this time louder while I look up into the faces of my two best mates.
“Holy—“ Declan’s jaw drops, the humor instantly vanishing from his face.
EJ stares at me, wide-eyed before finally speaking. “What? How?” He looks between me and Declan before adding, “I thought we decided to stay dry?”
A part of me wishes there was more alcohol involved. That way, I could blame my impulsiveness on something other than…my lack of judgment and plain idiocy.
“There was no alcohol involved,” I say, hand in the air with my fingers crossed. “Just a lot of old memories I guess, and left over feelings from way before.”
“Hannah,” Declan says, his green eyes flashing with understanding. “You married Hannah.”
“I don’t know what to say.” Suddenly feeling the need to move, I get up and walk toward my cubby, ruffling around in it for no apparent reason. “I didn’t expect to see her. Sure, I keep up with her life. Not in a weird stalker way, but I know that she's doing good. I mean how can I not? She’s the first girl I ever…” I trail off, unwilling to go any deeper. “I don’t know. Ever thought of for more than a day.”
EJ whistles from behind me, a low disbelieving sound. “The one who got away, huh?”
