Page 82 of Tear Me Down
“Okay. He needs to be focused tonight.” He stares at me intensely, obviously trying to get his point across.
“I know, don’t worry.”
He grabs my shoulder and squeezes gently before walking into the locker room. Nothing but worry and what almost comes across as paranoia is etched on his face, and that makes me feel even more anxious.
“You okay?” Serena asks me after briefly looking at Carter’s ass.
“Yeah, where are the tests?” I ask quickly, before Damien has the chance to emerge.
“In my car, we can grab them before you leave. Do you want me to come with you?”
“Kind of, but if you're with me I'll tell you as soon as it pops up with a result, and I want to tell him first.”
“I get it, girl. We’ll either celebrate or drink in the morning.” She laughs, and I shake my head again at her. I have no idea what her celebration would entail if drinking isn’t an option, but with her, anything is possible.
“Why would you two be drinking in the morning?” I turn to see my alluring fiancé strut up to us in his all black, tactical suit. The long pants and long-sleeved shirt are a fitted but tough material. They're equipped with protective padding on his knees and elbows, as well as pockets and holsters for ammo and knives. His chest looks even broader with the Molle tactical vest covering his torso. It not only shows off his muscles perfectly, but the extra straps and holsters hug his hips and thighs just right. He looks undeniably sexy, an indestructible monster, and I just want to climb him to feel his brute strength.
Jesus, now is not the time.
“Because I'll be thinking about you in this hot suit.” I wrap my arms around his neck, and he hugs me tightly while he kisses my forehead. He pulls back after a moment, but only enough to stare down at me with a warning glare.
“Go straight to the house. Do not stop anywhere or leave once you get there,” he demands, and I nod submissively, knowing tonight is not the night to push his buttons. “Keep all of the cameras on, even the one in the bedroom, and I’ll be home as soon as I can.”
“I promise, straight home.” He kisses me fiercely, almost like he’ll never get the chance again and pulls back again.
“I love you.”
“I love you too; please be careful.”
“Always.” One more kiss, and he turns to walk toward the training center for dispatch. Carter follows him but turns back to look at Serena with the same type of cautioned stare.
“You’re staying here with me.” He points at her with a flexed finger and stern gaze before turning around and catching up to Damien.
“Okay, Daddy.” Serena whispers in a sultry tone, and I almost gag.
“What is wrong with you? Have you two even made up yet?”
She shakes her head, and pokes her lips out like the thought irritates her.
“Irrelevant. That was still hot as hell.” Serena declares.
I take a deep breath, not needing to dig deeper into that, before I pull the keys out of my pocket.
“Watching him leave like this is never going to get easier, is it?” I mumble, almost afraid of the answer she’ll give me.
“Probably not, Ash. Especially if those tests come back positive. Come on, let’s go grab them before Carter has a stroke.” She nudges my shoulder before we step back into the elevator, and I silently pray that this isn’t the last time I watch Damien walk away.
As I sit in our bathroom, I feel the minutes pass by as I just stare at this box and let the thoughts run wild in my mind. I’ve never had to actually take one of these before. The thought of this coming back positive is exciting, yet absolutely terrifying. I mean, not really. I know how sex works, and apart from the small pill I take every morning, we haven't been careful—which was purposeful on Damien's part. But I always thought it would take much more tracking and planning than this. Granted, we’ve had sex almost every day, apart from when I was in the hospital, but I don't know—this just doesn't seem real.
I was never the girl to get everything she wanted. I was the girl that had to grow up too quick, always shoved in the back and forced to worry about everyone else. Damien is more than I could have ever dreamed of, and much more than I deserve, especially with how I used to think I would end up. Could this really be happening? All of those years I spent suffering; has it finally taken a turn for the better? Is the universe giving me what I've always wanted?
Taking one last deep breath, I finally draw the courage to open the damn box and read the instructions. My hands are shaking so much that I can barely read them, but I think I get the gist. Point down, pee, cap, two minutes. Not too hard, right? Ser said to only do one tonight, and if it came back negative to test again in the morning. Something about morning pee being better? I can’t wait until morning; I'll go crazy.
I follow the instructions, thankful that I can hold the stick steady enough, and put a two minute timer on my phone, feeling the electric charge of anticipation. All I can think of is Damien’s reaction, either way this goes. If it’s positive, he’ll probably run out on our balcony and scream it for the whole city to hear. If it’s not, I'll be bent four ways from Sunday until he does impregnate me. The thought makes me laugh, because I can only imagine the extremes he'd resort to once he knows this was a possibility.
If this damn thing does come back negative, I need to see a doctor sooner rather than later. There’s something else wrong with me if I'm not, there has to be. It’s been too long since the poisoning to still be feeling like this. The poisoning…what if I was already pregnant then? No. It would have shown up on the blood tests. Right? But what if they didn’t test for that?
Damn it, don’t freak out yet. Don't freak out…
