Page 32 of Tear Me Down
Once I grab a paper towel to wipe my face, he gently turns me and pulls my jaw up, forcing me to look at him once again. He looks into each of my eyes with complete concentration. The intensity is like a dagger before he softens a little and plants his lips on my forehead, which I know is to check for a fever, and not just a kiss.
“I'm fine, Damien,” I try to reassure him.
“The fuck you are. I'm taking you back to the hospital.”
“No, you're not. I'm okay,” I insist.
“This doesn’t look okay, Ashia!” he yells, letting his worry take over, and I can only think to put my hands on his face—caressing his jaw gingerly to try and calm him down. He leans into me and closes his eyes as he takes a deep breath, steeling himself as I turn my direction to Ser.
“Can you give us a minute? Please?” I ask, but she glares at Damien, eyeing him like she wants to say something else or lash out at him. Thankfully she doesn't, just nods and walks out, slamming the door behind her before I look back at him. “Baby, I'm okay.”
“Well, we can call Derek and see what he thinks.”
“I already talked to Derek this morning,” I confess and his eyes narrow at me, piecing what I'm telling him together. “I called him after I got sick earlier.” I look away, not wanting to see the hurt in his eyes.
“This morning? When the fuck did that happen? Why didn’t you tell me?” His voice sounds pained—almost disappointed.
“Because—look at yourself.” I look back at him and move my hands to his chest, feeling the heavy breaths under my palms. “You are so stressed, baby. You’re having trouble sleeping, you're constantly having to look after me, and now you're taking on these soldiers. Not to mention you just beat the shit out of one of them because he looked at me wrong. You’re already on edge, Damien. I just don’t want you to worry.”
“I love you. Of course, I'm going to worry, and now I have to worry about you hiding things from me?”
“No.” He tilts his head at me angrily, clearly not happy with my response. “I'm sorry.” I am sorry. I don’t want to keep things from him. I just can’t stand seeing him like this. The stress of all of this is going to kill him if it doesn’t end at some point. “I don’t want to hide things from you. Just like you worry about me, I worry about you, and I see what all of this is doing to you. I just want you to be okay, too.” I watch his eyes soften as he takes another breath. “I have not run a fever, there is no pain after, and the dizziness goes away after a minute. If I think something is wrong, I will tell you. I swear.”
He releases a sigh as he pulls me in close to him, wrapping his arms around me and cradling the back of my head in his hand.
“Does it hurt when you get sick?” he asks, much calmer than before.
“A little, but Derek said that will be normal while my stomach heals completely.”
He nods in response before resting his head against mine.
“What else did he say?”
“Pretty much the same thing as last night. He did say that it could just be a side effect that we didn’t see at the hospital because they gave me the anti-nausea meds.”
“Maybe we should ask for some.” He starts to rub my back soothingly.
“He offered, but I said no. I don’t want to put anything else in my stomach. I just want to see if it gets any better.” I look back up at him and he puts his forehead against mine, resting against me gently and nudging our noses together. “Please don’t be upset with me,” I whisper.
“I'm not. I appreciate you worrying about me, but don’t. I am fine. I can handle stress. What I can’t handle is you not being okay, and hiding how you're feeling from me isn't going to change that.”
I reach up and kiss his cheek to show my acknowledgment.
“I understand. I really am sorry.”
He nods at me and begins running his hands over my hips.
“If you insist on going back to work tomorrow, I want you to go home and rest.”
“Mel and Danielle still need help.” I want to argue, but I know I shouldn’t. He’s just concerned about me like he always is, but I don’t want to pile more on the girls because he wants me to take a nap.
“They'll be fine. They're used to this kind of thing—it’s part of what I pay them for. I'll get Zeke to drive you back and stay at the house with you.”
Reluctantly, I give in, following him out of the bathroom and letting him guide me back to my chair. Once I’m seated, he storms over to Zeke, drawing everyone’s attention, and I just look towards the ground—trying to ignore the possibility of anyone else looking over at me again.
Daisy trots her way up to me, laying her head in my lap against my stomach and nuzzling in as if she can feel the shift in the room. I focus on petting her again, lacing my fingers into her fur and sucking in her comfort for as long as I can before I leave.
Chapter thirteen
