Page 98 of Her Braun
She sighed and leaned into his touch when he'd soaped up every inch of her skin. "I hardly slept last night."
The admission surprised her, and she opened her eyes to meet his gaze.
He was watching her carefully, but his gaze was open as he listened to her.
"I tried to lie to him. I tried to pretend that I felt for him. Felt something like what he felt for me." She shuddered at the thought. "But I couldn't feel it. I know he saw it in my eyes. Chuck may have been suffering from some kind of delusion, but even he could tell I didn't feel for him. Not that way. It didn't help his mental state when I pulled the fire alarm to get help. He lost it then, splashing something around the room. It smelled like gas, but not the kind I put in my car at the station. There was a different scent to it, but even his father saw what he was up to.
"He told me to run. Told me to leave and go, but I knew I couldn't leave Charles behind. I couldn't take him with me if I went, so I stayed, and Charles pointed at the walk-in freezer. I don't know how I managed to drag him in there, but I did.Thinking of the time I saw that drill running at Fire House Twenty-Nine when I came to bring you some lunch, I used the technique, but I didn't think I had the strength.
"But I did. The strength of my need to see you again.
"And when I closed the door, I heard Chuck yelling. I heard him beating his fists against the door. And I managed to keep it closed when he tried to pull it open. I can only think that it was my terror that gave me strength then. Desperation and the soft sobs of a father who'd nearly been killed by his own son. All I could do was tell myself that you were coming. That I had to hold on until you could get there. That's what kept me going, Gibson. Thoughts of you. Wanting you. Even just seeing your face one more time.
“When he started to scream, I tried to talk to Charles, to keep his mind off of what was happening outside. I didn't know if we'd make it even in the freezer, but I didn't want him to hear his son dying."
He leaned in and kissed her gently on her lips.
"I saw the body, Kay."
She tensed and held herself together as he continued to speak.
"He started that fire, and I don't know what happened while he was in there. It could have flashed over. He could have tried to put it out and it could have turned on him. No matter what happened to him, it wasn't your fault."
Kay could only nod. She knew he was right, but it still didn't make things any easier for her.
"There's one more thing that I need to tell you." She looked up and marveled at the fact that the water was still running warm. "Besides the fact that the water heater you put in is something like a miracle. It's still going. Before you changed it, we would have been icicles long before this." She shook her head feeling very, very silly. "I don't know why I said that."
He gave her a smile that she found reassuring. "You can say anything you want to me, Kay. I'm here for you. You know I love you."
She felt the weight of his love on her, all over her, and she basked in it.
Absorbing it like the sun.
Kay ran the tip of her tongue over her bottom lip before she spoke. "I know that you heard what happened before you got to Smokey's tonight when I gave my statement to the police, but I want to tell you how... how it felt."
"Baby, you can tell me anything you want, and I'll listen."
He made her feel like no one ever had before.
Appreciated.
"What you should know first, Gibson, is that I love you."
She thought that she'd cried them all earlier when she'd been alone in the guest bedroom at the Campanelli's home, but here they were flowing anew.
She held out her hand to keep him from moving closer. "I need to say this while you're not touching me."
She saw his eyebrows raise at her words.
"Sometimes it's hard to think when you're touching me," she managed a little smile. "It's like a drug. Your hands on me. Your body pressed up against me. I can't think when all I can do is feel and that's difficult for me. I'm used to thinking.
"And you... you make me feel things on so many different levels and at first, I was frightened."
He looked stunned and hesitant.
She didn't want him to feel like that.
Not with her.
