Page 47 of Salvation
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We follow John into the living room just like we did the last time we were here. Except this time, Willow walks beside me. She watches her feet as she walks, her face hidden by her curls, so I can’t tell what she’s thinking. I don’t know if I’d be able to even if I could.
Kolton walks beside her, and I don’t miss the way he reaches out and squeezes her hand in comfort before dropping his back to his side. A small smile tugs at the corner of my lips because I’m glad she had that. I never had a sibling, but I always wanted one.
Campbell’s hand never leaves my back as we walk. Maybe I should ask him not to touch me, but I can’t bring myself to do it. I’ve been lonely most of my life—even when I stood in a crowded room—but with Campbell’s hand on my back, I don’t feel like I have to face the world alone.
When we get to the living room, John turns to look at Willow.
“Willow,” he says, and her head snaps up, looking at him. “Please go get your mother. She’s upstairs.”
“But, Dad, I—”
John shakes his head. “Not right now, Willow. Just do as I asked. Kolton, you go with her.”
“No, Dad. I’m going to stay here with you,” he says, puffing out his chest as if he needs to protect his father from us, but I have a feeling we may need to be the ones to be protected from John. He has the ability to shatter our hearts, after all.
“No, son. You’ll do as I ask. Don’t think I’m dumb enough to assume that Willow achieved this all by herself,” John says,looking at us. “We’re going to talk about your part in all this, too, since it was you who told us she was at a friend’s house today.”
Kolton’s cheeks turn pink, and he looks toward his sister as if to confirm what she wants. Whatever her choice is, he’ll stand by it. I can see it in his eyes. When Willow doesn’t move, neither does he. He crosses his arms over his chest and stands taller. John sighs, rubbing his hand down his face.
“Willow, they will still be here when you get back. I won’t run them off.”
Willow looks at me as if to confirm what he’s saying, and I nod my head. It must be enough for her because she spins, disappearing back the way we came, and Kolton follows.
John watches his kids leave with a mix of pride and frustration in his gaze.
“Being a parent is the single hardest thing I’ve ever done in my entire life,” he says, still staring at where Willow and Kolton disappeared.
I don’t know if he is looking for an answer or if this is more of just a reflection, so I stay quiet. But Campbell speaks up. “I can imagine, sir.”
John chuckles as if what Campbell said was funny and rubs his jaw again. “No, you can’t, but you’re about to figure it out. So I guess I can’t fault you for not knowing. Come on, let’s sit. I have some things I would like to say to you before my wife and kids get back.”
He sits in the same place he did before, and so do we. But I hope it ends differently this time.
John looks at the picture on the mantel, the one I held the first time we were here, with a far-off look in his eyes, as if he’s remembering the day it was taken. Campbell and I look at each other, wondering if we should be the ones to speak first. Before we can make a decision, John speaks up.
“When we first brought Willow home, she was six months old, and even then, she was the happiest baby I’d ever been around. Kolton cried all the time, but Willow was just content to take in the world around her. It stayed that way for a while, but about two years ago, Jackie and I noticed a change. It was more than the normal teenage angst. We’d been through that with Kolton, and it was hard enough. But this—it was more, and it was scary.”
Campbell’s arm is touching mine, and I feel his muscles tense. But when I try to get his attention, he continues to stare straight ahead, ignoring me. John keeps talking, oblivious to the tension between us.
“We always planned on telling Willow she was adopted, not because we didn’t see her as part of our family, but because we thought she deserved to know in case she ever wanted to—” John swallows, the words getting stuck in his throat. “In case she ever wanted to—” His voice wavers as he tries again, but it’s clear it will pain him to finish that sentence, so I do it for him.
“In case she ever wanted to find us.”
He nods, tears puddling on his eyelashes. “Yes. I was never afraid of her finding you, not before—everything.Iamher father. I raised her. Iloveher. I always felt secure enough in that position, but we still wanted to wait for a little while to tell her. We wanted to make sure she was old enough to really understand, but kids are cruel—plans and good intentions rarely matter when there’s evil in the world. The kids started to tease her because she didn’t look like Jackie, Kolton, or me. They teased her so much that Willow started to question it. She came home one day, asking Jackie why she didn’t have her eyes or my nose. We decided to tell her the truth. We were always going to anyway, but I never wanted it to happen like this. We sat her down and told her that we’d always love her no matter what, but after that, she started to change. She became more reservedand no longer cared about spending time with friends or family. She rarely left her room, and it got to a point that we were so concerned that we took her to the doctor.”
“What did they say?” Campbell’s voice shakes. I reach over, placing my hand on his knee, but he flinches. So I pull it back.
I don’t know what’s going on with him, but it’s something big.
“She was diagnosed with major depressive disorder. After her diagnosis, we started her on medicine, and I started to recognize my daughter again. But the thing with major depressive disorder is that you never know what will be the trigger.”
My head spins as I try to process everything. “Like us, right?”
John winces, meeting my gaze. “Yeah, like you. I was trying to protect her. You don’t understand what it’s like to look at someone, and not even recognize the person they are, for them not to even recognize themselves.”
“Yeah,” Campbell’s voice comes out hoarse. “I think I can.”
