Page 94 of Salvation
It’s not the same church I went to with my grandparents when we lived here. I’m not sure I could ever make myself sit in that one again, but the door is the same—and that’s enough to make me hesitate.
The church bells chime, and I suck in a fortifying breath. It’s now or never, and I don’t want to spend the rest of my life in the past. So with one sharp nod, I force my feet forward, pulling Campbell along with me. He matches my strides, staying by my side the entire walk up to those intimidating wooden doors. When he drops my hand and pulls them open for Willow and me, I know there is no going back, but we only make it one step in the door because a gaggle of women block the path to the sanctuary, one of whom is Della Rae.
“Whoa, look at the old girls committee,” Willow mutters, taking the place in.
“Shh,” I whisper, and turn to Campbell, scrunching my brows. “Does your mom go here?”
Campbell’s family went to the same church as my grandparents when we lived in Benton Falls. MJ’s family had too, but as I take in the group of women, I spy Abigail, MJ’s mom, amongst the pack. She’s standing furthest away from me, and my uncle stands in front of her, deep in conversation with the woman I remember being a little too much like my grandmother.
Wiping my sweaty palms down my dress, I turn my attention back to Campbell, waiting for his answer, but I can’t stop myselffrom casting a glance over to where my uncle stands, hoping he notices me. Besides Campbell, I haven’t told anyone about Charles being my uncle, and I’m unsure of the protocol in this situation. Does he want people to know we are related? Would he rather wait? I don’t know what a healthy relationship with my family is supposed to look like, and the uncertainty is making me anxious.
“Yeah, she does,” he says, reminding me that I had asked him a question. His voice is a whisper in my ear, so the others around us can’t hear, and I push up on my toes to listen to him better. “A lot of people made the change a couple of years ago. You weren’t the only one who felt that the church had become a show. People recognized it, and they wanted more. Those are the Benton Birdies she is standing with. They are the group that hired you to paint your mural. Lily is a part of it, and they put her in charge of overseeing the community building. I’m sure they are all out here to welcome your uncle.”
I take my time looking around the group of women blocking our path. I recognize several who used to attend church with my grandparents. Feelings of inadequacy start to climb up my throat, threatening to smother me, but before they can climb too far, Della Rae spies us and heads our way.
“Ivy,” she says, squashing me in a hug once she’s close enough. “I’m so glad to see you.”
I hug her back, clinging onto her a moment longer than is reasonable because she makes me feel safe. She lets me hold her, and when I finally pull back, she pats my face with a soft smile, pulling at the corner of her lips. Then she turns her attention to Willow, gathering her in her arms the same way she did me, only Willow doesn’t embrace it like I do. She stands with her hands by her side and a look of pure horror on her face.
“You people are very affectionate,” she says, moving her hand to awkwardly pat Della Rae’s back.
Della Rae pulls away, undeterred by her granddaughter as she taps the end of her nose. “It’s only because we love you, Willow.” Willow’s face turns a humorous shade of pink, causing Campbell to snort. Della Rae’s lips twitch as her gaze swivels to Campbell. “Our seats are toward the front, dear, if you all would like to sit down. There is plenty of room, and I’ll be up there in a minute.”
“Actually—” I start, but I’m interrupted.
“Birdies, gather around,” Abigail’s voice carries over mine, and I turn to see her waving the women toward her. “I want to introduce you to Charles Atwood. Some of you have met him, but for those of you who haven’t, he’s been doing some estate work for the church. He and his wife and daughter decided to join us today.”
Abigail points to two women standing beside Charles, and even though I’m not the one she’s addressing, my eyes fall to the women. The first woman standing by his side must be his wife. Her hair is gray, and it’s pinned up in a bun at the nape of her neck. She smiles, causing wrinkles to deepen around her eyes, a testament to how much time she must spend smiling. Another woman stands beside her, and if I were to guess, I’d say she is around the age my mother would have been had she survived. It’s hard to remember what my mom looked like now that I’m older, but I still find myself searching for pieces of her in the woman who would have been her cousin.
Charles clears his throat, and my eyes jump back to him, only to find him already staring back at me, a bright smile lighting up his eyes. I hadn’t told him I was coming to church. I hadn’t come to that decision until this morning, but from that look in his eyes, I’m glad I did.
“Actually,” Charles to Abigail, “my niece has decided to join us as well, and if you’ll excuse me, I’d like to go say hello.”
He shakes Abigail’s hand and grabs his wife, nodding to several of the Benton Birdie women as he walks by. I pop my knuckles as they walk toward us, and Campbell’s hand falls to my shoulder, steadying me.
“Ivy, dear,” Charles says once he’s close enough, “I thought we were going to meet later this afternoon at the bakery.”
“I made the decision to come this morning. I hope it’s okay that I’m here.”
“Absolutely. You’ve made an old man very happy just by being here today. I’d like to introduce you to my wife and daughter.” He pulls the older woman into his side and says, “This is Carol. We’ve been married for fifty years, and she still puts up with me every day. I like to keep her around, so I have someone to laugh at my jokes. She’s the only one who thinks I’m funny.”
Carol smiles at Charles, but gives me a conspiratorial wink, placing her hand beside her mouth. “Someone has to.” I chuckle, and she drops her hand, sticking it out for me to shake. “It’s very nice to meet you, honey. This is our daughter, Julie.”
Julie steps forward, but she doesn’t shake my hand like her mom. Her arms stretch out, and she wraps me up in a hug. “It’s so good to meet you, Ivy. My dad has told me so much about you. I met your mother once when we were young. You remind me of her.”
I swallow, emotion clogging my throat as I step away from her and wipe a tear from my eyes. Campbell has always felt like the only family I’ve ever had, but now three more people stand in front of me, wanting to welcome me into theirs.
Clearing my throat, I turn to where Campbell and Willow are still standing. “I—uh—I’d like you to meet my family, too. This is Campbell,” I say, tucking my arm into his elbow. Then I look at Willow, my emotions growing bigger and making it hard to speak. “And this is our daughter, Willow.”
Charles and his family greet mine, all while I stand back and watch, and for the first time in my life, I realize that the word family is no longer such a foreign concept.
Chapter 39
Campbell
It’s two in the morning, and I’m trying to keep my eyes open as I drive through town, patrolling. My coffee has long since worn off, and there’s nowhere open at this time of night for me to grab another one. Needing to find somewhere to pull over, I turn left onto Main Street and roll my window down to let in the cool air. The breeze washes over my skin, and I take a deep breath, dragging it into my lungs.
There was a time when I hated working shifts like this because my mind was always at its darkest during the middle of the night, but the darkness doesn’t weigh so heavily anymore. After my setback, I went to my doctor, and we discussed changing my medicine. Taking it is still something I’m coming to terms with, but it doesn’t make me feel ashamed like it once did.
