Page 90 of Salvation
“Look,” Lily says, leaning in, “I haven’t known Campbell as long as MJ, but even I can see a change in him since you’ve been around. He’s always been this funny, loving guy, but I didn’t realize how much of that was just a mask until you came around. His happiness is real now. He’s not faking it anymore.”
Emotions clog my throat, making it impossible to speak around them, because it hit me that neither was I. For my whole life, I faked a smile and did as my grandparents had asked, but I am finally doing what I want—and I don’t have to fake my smile anymore. It’s real.
“Mmm-hmmm.” MJ hums, pulling me out of my thoughts. “I agree with everything Lily just said. Now, give me back my cookies.”
She looks at Lily, giving her the stink eye when Lily pulls out a cookie and takes a slow, methodical bite. MJ’s eye twitches, and I take the momentary reprieve to pull out my phone and text Campbell.
Ivy:Hey.
The text isn’t long or eloquent, but it’s my way of making the first move when he’s always been the one to do it in the past. My leg bounces up and down when I see the text has been delivered and then read. I wait, holding my breath, as three dots appear, but they disappear without a response. I scrunch my forehead, confused because it’s unlike him not to text back as soon as he sees it—not that hehasto. It’s just not like himnotto.
Flipping the phone over so I don’t drive myself crazy waiting for the text to come through, I speak up, breaking up the fight over the cookies. “So,” I say, trying to keep my voice casual. “What are the guys getting up to today?”
I can tell by their faces that the question didn’t come off half as casual as I’d hoped, but neither one calls me out for it—at least not verbally. Their smirks, on the other hand, are two signs that might as well scream that they know I’m really asking about Campbell.
Eventually, MJ’s smirk breaks, and she groans. “They went to that new ax-throwing place a few towns over. Honestly, I tried not to ask too many questions for my sanity. I do know that Campbell didn’t go with them. He texted Hayes this morning saying he wasn’t feeling well. Now, if you’ll excuse me. I need to pee for the twentieth time today.”
Lily stands with her. “And I am going to grab a snack since MJ refuses to share.” MJ shrugs unapologetically, and Lily rolls her eyes. “Ivy, do you want anything?”
“No, thank you. I’m good.”
They both leave the room, and unease gnaws at my gut. Eyeing my phone, I will it to ring with an incoming text message, but the insanity gets to me. Flipping my phone back over, my fingers fly over the screen, and I send off another text.
Ivy:Are you okay? MJ said you aren’t feeling well.
The text is delivered, and the three dots appear again. This time, a response comes through.
Campbell:I’m fine.
Ivy:Usually, when a girl says she’s fine, it means something else.
Campbell:I’m not a girl, and Idon’t want to do this, Ivy. Not today.
The use of my real name is the first thing that throws me. Campbell rarely calls me Ivy. It’s always sunshine. The context of the message is the second. I don’t understand whatthisis.
Ivy: Do what, Campbell? Ask if you are okay?
Campbell: Talk.
Anger, hurt, and worry all war for their place in my chest, but I can’t decide how I feel. The last time I saw Campbell was a week ago. He dropped me off after the football game and kissed me at my doorstep. We’ve texted since then, but our schedules have been crazy this week, so we haven’t seen each other in person.
I chew on my bottom lip, trying to decide what to do, when Lily and MJ come back into the room. I try to mask my concern, but MJ clocks it.
“Ivy, are you okay?”
For a second, I contemplate hiding the truth, but these women are trying to be my friends—and if that’s ever going to happen, I have to let them in.
Making my decision, I shake my head. “No. Actually, I’m kind of worried about Campbell?”
“Why?” Lily asks. “What happened?”
Deciding it will be easier to show them my texts, I hand over the phone and let them read. When they’re done, MJ looks up at me with tears shining in her eyes.
“You need to go to him. Right now. I would call Hayes, but I don’t think he will get there fast enough. Besides, I think he needs you more than anyone. This is how it started last time, and Hayes and I—we—we missed it. Just go to him.”
MJ’s bottom lip trembles. She doesn’t have to explain what she meant when she said it was how it started last time. I already know. It’s the signs they missed for Campbell’s depression, and I refuse to let him suffer that alone ever again.
Frantically, I gather my stuff, but my heart is racing so fast I can’t think right. I don’t even know where he lives.
