Page 28 of Grace Notes
“No, we won’t,” she says, her voice surprisingly even. “I think we should cancel it.”
“No.” My answer is immediate and definite. She’s worked too hard for this, and I know how much it means to her—even though things have seemed to go wrong at every turn. I don’t want her to give it up.
“Brooks,” she says, but her voice trails off.
With a quick glance in the rear view mirror to confirm that Avery has finally gone to sleep, I pull the car onto a gravel back road that’s hardly ever traveled. If we are having this conversation, I want to be able to look at her.
Once we are sitting still with the car in park, I turn my shoulders toward her. “Emryn, I know planning this thing hasn’t been easy—and what the venue did was crappy—but you don’t have to give this up. I know how much you wanted this. We can make it work.”
She shakes her head, fingers twirling the edge of her hair. “It’s less than a week away, Brooks. We have so many other things to worry about right now. It’s just a silly party. Yeah, maybe I wanted it because I thought it would be fun to celebrate our marriage, but at the end of the day, the marriage is what matters—our life together is what matters.”
“Emryn—” I start, reaching for her, but she raises her hand.
“No, Brooks,” she says, looking in the back seat to ensure Avery is still sleeping. “Your dad needs us right now, and I’m not selfish enough to put a party over that. We can do this another time—or not at all. I don’t need this. Did I want it? Sure. It would have been fun, but I think it passed fun a long time ago and turned into a headache. So, it’s okay. Truly.”
She offers me a smile that doesn’t reach her eyes, and when it drops, I can see by the set of her jaw that I’m not going to win this.
“Okay, Emryn, but I need you to be sure that you’re being honest with me—and yourself—about being okay with this.”
With a stiff nod, she says, “I’m sure.”
Turning her head, she goes back to staring out the window, and I put the car into drive, pulling back onto the main highway.
But I can’t help but wonder if this is another time I will look back and wonder how I failed my wife.
______________________
It’s been three days since my dad had his surgery, and we still haven’t heard anything from the biopsy. He ended up having to stay at the hospital a little longer than expected because hisblood pressure wouldn’t stay regulated, but he gets to come home today.
Avery has driven me crazy all morning, wondering if it was time to pick him up yet. He’s going to stay at our house while he recovers. I don’t want him to be alone again if something big happens.
The elevator dings, and I step out into the hallway with my daughter’s hand in mine. She has been bouncing off the walls all morning, but as we near my dad’s room, that energy seems to bleed out of her.
Stopping outside the room, I turn to Avery and squat down so I’m on her level. “Avery, do you want to talk about something?”
Going to Dr. Phelps has made a world of difference. That spunky girl of mine has started to shine through again. She needed someone who understood how to help her identify her feelings. I will forever be thankful to the man for getting through to her, even if she does have moments like now where she’s still a little wary.
Avery wiggles her nose, her eyes bouncing from me to the door we are standing in front of.
“Do you think Papaw Kip will be mad at me because I didn’t talk to him when I was scared?”
“Oh, baby. I know he won’t be. He loves you a lot, and he knew you were scared. But I think the only way for you to know that for sure is to walk through that door right there,” I say, tilting my head toward the door, “and talk to him. I think he’s been missing you.”
Her hands fiddle with the edge of her skirt, and she doesn’t meet my eye. “Daddy?”
“Yes, Bug?”
“I’m scared,” she whispers. “Will you stay with me the whole time?”
Reaching out, I scoop her into a hug and kiss the top of her head. “I wouldn’t dream of being anywhere else.”
There’s a determined set to her jaw when she pulls out of the hug and nods. “Okay, but before we go in, can I say a prayer real quick?”
“Anytime, baby. I’ll never say no to that.”
She takes my hand, my large palm swallowing her small one, and bows her head. “God, I’m a little scared. Maybe—maybe you could help with that?” Lifting her head, she blinks once, then slams her eyes closed again. “Oh yeah, Amen.”
I suppress my smile, not wanting her to feel like I’m making fun of her. Pride warms my chest as I take in my little girl, who has dealt with so much in the last year. I couldn’t ask for a better person to call my daughter.
