Page 34 of Dyana
Derrick went into the kitchen and spread a rolled map out onto the kitchen table. He grabbed a red marker and studied the map before leaning over and marking the latest sighting. I looked over his shoulder at the map and saw that it was a map of the town with red dots all over it.
“You weren’t kidding,” I commented.
“Nope,” Trent chuckled. “He’s more obsessed with chicken than bear jerky.”
“How do you know he has hens?” Bryce asked. “Maybe it’s just him.”
“I thought the same thing,” Isaac said, “except we’ve seen him with chicks a few times, so the hens are out there somewhere.”
“Next time I go into town, I’ll look for them,” I offered. “I grew up in those woods. I know them like the back of my hand.”
“Dyana has been all over the woods looking for them and hasn’t found them yet,” Cora replied.
I scoffed. “Dyana may not mind roughing it now, but back in the day, she didn’t care much for dirt or the woods.”
Dyana stuck her tongue out at me and rolled her eyes. The action was so familiar that it took us both by surprise. A slow smile spread across my face as Dyana blushed.
It may take time, but we’d be fine.
Chapter ten
Dyana
Ihadn’t realized when I said they could stay that it meant Jack, Bryce, and Evan would become extra flirty, but that’s precisely what’s happened over the past two weeks. All three men went out of their way to touch and tease me constantly. Wherever I went, one of them, if not all, came with me. I had to admit, it was nice having help around the tower. Cora’s men were always willing to lend a hand, even if Isaac did so begrudgingly, but I always felt like a burden when they did. With the guys, it felt like we were a team.
Thanks to Evan’s ambitious remodel, things around the tower were starting to look better. They had even gone as far as to spend a few days ferrying furniture up the mountain. I was now the proud owner of a luxurious king-sized bed. I suspected the larger bed served a purpose beyond a comfortable place for me to sleep. I felt ridiculous going to sleep every night in the giant bed with them still on the floor in sleeping bags, but I couldn’t bring myself to invite them to my bed.
“Knock, knock,” Cora said as she stepped inside with Johnny.
“There’s my favorite little man,” I crooned as I plucked him from her arms. “Should you be hiking up here in your state?” I asked her, concerned as she lowered herself into a chair, out of breath. She seemed to be showing more and more every day. Far faster than she did with Johnny. Either she was further along than we thought, or she had more than one baby in there. I poured her a glass of water and handed it to her.
“I’m fine,” Cora assured me as she took the glass and drank half of it. “It’s looking good in here,” she said, looking around. “How are things going with you guys?”
“Good,” I admitted. “It would be so easy to fall into the fantasy. Pretend that everything is normal when it isn’t.”
“Have you slept together yet?”
“No!” I blurted. “Jesus, Cora.”
“What? It’s a legitimate question. You are living with three virile men who are over the moon in love with you and watch you like they could eat you up in a few big bites. I’ll never understand how the hell you’ve managed to keep them out of your bed.”
“It’s complicated.”
“Not really,” Cora argued. “What’s holding you back?”
“Fear,” I answered honestly. “Sex became... a way for me to get what I wanted. To get ahead. And that’s not how I want it to be with them, but I’m afraid I’m not capable of the level of intimacy they want from me. Sex is easy, it’s all the things that are supposed to come with it that complicate matters, or should if you aren’t broken.”
Cora sighed as she regarded me sadly. “I wish you would give yourself more grace and stop beating yourself up for the things you needed to do to survive.”
“Cora, I almost killed you guys for your house. My sole intent was to take your home from you at any cost. I didn’t care who died. I didn’t care if I had to kill all of you, as long as I had your house. That’s not a good person.”
“But that isn’t who you are anymore,” Cora replied. “Furthermore, that wasn’t who you were then; it was what you had to do to survive. Now that you’re safe, you let that all go. You have to stop punishing yourself, Dyana. You deserve happiness just as much as the rest of us.”
How ridiculous was it that I was actively trying to convince Cora that I was a piece of shit? And why did I have such a hard time believing that I wasn’t? I looked down at Johnny in my arms to distract myself from my thoughts. I couldn’t change what I’ve done, but I tried every day to be better than I was the day before. Maybe that was enough.
“I think you should talk to them about how you feel,” Cora suggested. “Tell them your story. Help them understand. And then, when they don’t leave, maybe you can start to see yourself through their eyes.”
I looked at her in horror. “I’m not telling them shit.”
