Page 16 of Rekindling Little River
Next, they drew out a snap-crotch onesie pack. Inside there were five different short sleeved onesies in varying colors with different designs. River loved them. They didn’t own any snap-crotch onesies of their own. They pulled out another pack that contained the same things but with long sleeves instead of short.
The next bag was even more interesting. River pulled out training pants, diapers, training underwear, and diaper covers. They’d always known they’d go really Little sometime if they ever trusted someone enough, but they’d never had that much faith in anyone else. As they caressed the package of adult-sized diapers, they glanced at their new Daddy and wondered if he could possibly be the person worthy of River’s complete submission. Somehow, they thought he just might be.
On and on the surprises came. They were sure their new Daddy hadn’t missed a single thing they might need to face anything that might arise while they were here. They didn’t know how he’d managed it, but the fact was that he had made River feel the most special they had ever felt in their entire life.
“There’s one more thing, babysaurus.”
Gods, they loved when he called them that. They loved it more than any other pet name ever. Wait, what had he said?
“There’s more?” It was a wonder their eyes didn’t bug out of their head. How could there possibly be anythingmore? They were certain everything either of them could possibly need was already surrounding them.
“Just one thing.” Daddy stepped closer holding another bag that hadn’t been with the others. “I noticed last night that one critical thing was missing for a complete Little’s bedtime. So, Ipicked this out while you were getting the Velcro added to your pirate shirt.”
Daddy handed them the bag and when River looked inside, barely managing a gasp before their lungs seized up and they couldn’t breathe at all. Their heart pounded as they carefully reached in and gently petted the soft plush fur of a T-Rex wearing a western hat, fully harnessed and saddled, waiting to be ridden. It was absolutely perfect, the Rawhide Ranch logo on the belly only making it all the more special.
River’s breath finally released as they hugged their new friend, T-Rhett, to their chest and sobbed out their joy. Their Daddy rushed over, pulling them close, and holding them as they cried. He didn’t try to shush them or ask what was wrong, as if they’d be able to answer. They simply held them, letting their tears fade naturally to small hiccups before leaning back and pulling out an honest-to-god handkerchief from his pocket to clean them up with.
Once River was more in control, Daddy asked the dreaded question. “What was that all about?”
River took a deep breath and did their best to explain. “When I was a kid, it was just assumed by everyone that I would be a doctor. I spent my entire life working toward that goal. Literally. From the time I was born.
“I didn’t have a single toy growing up that wasn’t specifically designed to further my education. Instead of dolls or action figures, I had skeletons and those half cut open people that showed brains and hearts and intestinal tracks. They even had me practicing keeping my hands steady under pressure with that old game, Operation.” River shuddered just thinking about it. “I’m pretty sure that game gave me PTSD or something. I still can’t hear a buzzer without jumping out of my skin.
“Anyway, I never got frivolous toys or whimsical things. They even monitored what people bought me for holidays andbirthdays. I never once had a stuffy that I can remember. When I grew up, I left home as soon as legally possible and have never gone back. Paying bills and saving for emergencies was the goal, so I never convinced myself that buying my own stuffy was important enough to spare the money.”
When they looked up, Daddy’s eyes were a mixture of sympathy and awe. Then, his brows drew together, his nose scrunched up, and understanding lit his eyes as he said, “Then… this is your firsteverstuffy.”
“Very first.” River nodded emphatically. “Rhett and I are going to be best friends. Aren’t we?” That last part was aimed toward Rhett, who clearly agreed they were destined to be the best of pals.
CHAPTER 15
Dave
So many things made so much more sense now. The way River was a completely different person when they let go, for example. They’d had years of training instead of years of growing up. They’d been trained to have grace, and their Little naturally had none. They’d been trained in science, but their Little was more artistic. Their imagination had been stifled, but their Little often got lost in their head. River’s Little was an accumulation of all the things River’s parents had trained out of them.
Meanwhile, Big River was constantly on guard and had a hard time letting go of everything that had been ingrained in them. Their grace wasn’t natural but had been beaten into them so hard it seemed to be. Their calm wasn’t so much calm, as having learned to mask their emotions at an early age. Work ethic, inability to let go, distrust, independence, and difficulty forming lasting connections were all part of their training, not who they really were.
Every time Dave encountered River’s Little, it seemed he was encountering therealRiver. The one who had never beengiven the opportunity to be free and careless, to grow up slowly and naturally. The hidden origins of the grown-up River that everyone knew. He’d never felt more grateful for anything than he did to be the one trusted with theirtrueself.
Dave gathered a few of the items he’d purchased and put them in a bag, before taking River’s hand and leading them and Rhett to the room next door. Within moments he’d positioned River in front of the bed and began undressing them.
“Someone needs to catch up on years of missed sleep,” he said as he worked. “Daddy’s going to start getting you caught up with nap times.” He bent down and removed their shoes, before instructing, “Lie back on the bed for me,” and helping River into the position he wanted.
Dave watched River’s face closely, looking for any hints of discomfort, fear, or anxiety. When he found none, he kept going. Dave knew this was something River had wanted for a long time and they’d discussed safe words so unless River used theirs, Dave was going to keep going.
He waited until River was completely undressed before reaching into the bag for what he’d brought with him. First, he removed baby powder. Then, a thick, absorbent diaper. Finally, he pulled out a snap-crotch onesie with the new paci-clip already attached to it.
He quickly unfolded the diaper and checked once again to make sure River was okay but he needn’t have worried. River watched him with wide, fascinated eyes and a smile so bright that it practically screamed their excitement. He took their ankles in one hand and lifted, quickly sliding the diaper beneath them.
River’s cheeks heated with the most adorable blush when he spread their legs so he could powder them and fasten the tabs of the diaper. But once it was on, they wiggled, making it crinkle, and then experimented with squeezing their legs together. Theirblush grew with each passing second, but they also seemed to be enjoying the experience.
Dave pulled the onesie on, snapped the crotch, and clipped River’sbabysauruspaci to the strap before popping the nipple into River's mouth, snuggling Rhett into River’s arms and tucking them snug into their blankets.
He sat next to River, running his hand softly up and down River’s back until they’d fallen fast asleep.
River
River’s beautiful dream slowly faded into the background of their consciousness, and they softly floated to reality. Their eyes remained closed, and the sound of rustling pages tickled their ears. Cool air warmed their cheeks, while under the blanket, their own body heat created a delicious and comforting warmth. They shifted slightly, clutching their new stuffed friend close when the sound of crinkling plastic reminded them of what they were wearing. They experimented with shifting their legs together, reveling in the thick padding that rubbed their most sensitive areas.
