Page 47 of When Ben Loved Jace
I nod. “We don’t really argue.”
“Sure, but does he love you as much as you need him to?”
I make a face. “Stop looking for chinks in his armor.”
“Sorry. How long have you been with him?”
“Four months.”
“So not as long as we were together. I’m still ahead in the race.”
He dodges when I try shoving him away, but of course Tim comes right back again. Then he asks the big question.
“Do you love him?”
I nod, an edge of rawness to my voice when I answer. “Yeah.”
“Goddamn it.” Tim sighs. “Well, if he ever messes up, you’ve got options. Remember that.”
I don’t know how to respond. Fortunately, I notice a convenient distraction. “Hey! Is that your old car?”
“Yup!” he confirms, leading me over to it. “I don’t drive it as much these days. Eric has some nice wheels. I usually just borrow one of his.”
“Oneof his?”
“Uh-huh. The money part of the rumor is true. He’s rich.”
“What happened to the paint job?” I ask, noticing how the clear coat has been stripped away in patches.
“Dickwads happened to it,” Tim grumbles. “That’s a story for another time. I need to go home and lick my wounds. I thought the night was going to end with us in bed together.”
“Oh really?” I challenge.
He nods. “It was either that, or I figured you’d refuse to talk to me. You really threw me a curve ball with this Jack guy.”
“Jace,” I correct.
“Right. Hey, you can bring him with you tomorrow, if you want.”
“Thanks, but he’s out of town.”
“Some other time then,” Tim says, patting his pockets. “Can I get your number? And my phone? I’ll text you the address. Unless you want me to pick you up. I totally will.”
“I’ll come to you.”
We exchange information. Then it gets awkward, because we can’t kiss each other goodbye, and even a hug seems a little much, considering the tension that remains between us.
Tim reaches out and ruffles my hair.
Oh right. I almost forgot how he used to do that.
“See you tomorrow, Benjamin.”
He gets into his black sports car, rolls down the window to smirk at me, and then takes off down the street. When I turn around, I almost expect to see my parents’ house. I’m not trapped in the past though. I’m a different person now. And so is he. That’s what I can’t stop thinking about, even after I go inside.
Chapter Eleven
Istillhaven’t told Jace. I find myself repeatedly attempting to justify this to myself. Like maybe it would be kinder to wait until I can give Jace a full report instead of torturing him with unanswered questions. And yes, part of me worries he’ll forbid me to see Tim, or be so threatened by his return that I decide on my own not to see Tim again, if only to spare Jace’s feelings. I just need to find out more before that happens. Besides, I’d never cheat on Jace. There’s no chance of that. I’m drawn to Tim because of our old chemistry, but I wouldn’t let it go that far. Like going on a potentially dangerous voyage that I know I’ll come back from, instead of making Jace worry while I’m gone, I’ll wait to tell him until after I’ve safely returned.
