Page 32 of When Ben Loved Jace
“Right?” I prompt.
“Please don’t be angry.”
“Jace!” I get out of the car, needing to burn off some of my frustration.
“Too many people have called in sick. It’s that time of year.”
“But you already took those days off!”
“Vacation days aren’t the same as sick days. If the airlines don’t have enough crew to staff a flight, it gets canceled, and that affects hundreds of people, not just me.”
“Oh. That’s fine then. As long as they all get to be with the people they love, then who cares about us?”
“I know you’re disappointed—” Jace begins.
“I’m more than that!” I snarl. “I’m tired of this!”
“Well maybe we can—”
I don’t let him finish. I hang up the phone. Then I groan as the fight goes out of me, because this was supposed to be our special day. And weekend. Logically, I understand where he’s coming from. That’s simply the nature of his job. But it’s not like he’s a surgeon and people’s lives depend on him showing up to work. Regardless, I really shouldn’t have hung up like that. Then again, what does it matter when we never get to see each other?
I’m buffeted back and forth by alternating emotions as I go inside the apartment, ashamed and rejected and too many other feelings. All except the one I’d hoped to celebrate today. Although, if I’m honest with myself, that’s what is truly behind my outburst. I wouldn’t be so upset otherwise. And it’s not like he did this on purpose.
I pick up my phone and call him back. He doesn’t answer.
Fuck.
“I’m sorry,” I say when leaving a voicemail. “Call me. Please.”
I straighten up the house for the next hour. I don’t hear from him. I make dinner—the meal I’d hoped we eat together—and send a text while ignoring my plate. No response. I wish Allison was here, but she agreed to steer clear so Jace and I could have privacy. She’s out with Ken having a grand ol’ time. Or at least getting drunk, which I’m tempted to try. I shove my food away untouched and sit on the couch to watch TV. Don’t ask me what. I’m lost in my own thoughts, most of them regrets. Sometimes I manage to muster more anger, but it seems so pointless, because what am I going to do? Leave him? I would rather see the man of my dreams once a month than never at all. What was I thinking?
I retreat to my room and put on music. Sad stuff that I sob along to. Once I get it all out of my system, I run a bubble bath. While soaking, I start scheming, because I’m not giving up. I’llwin him back! Even if I have to beg for his forgiveness. He’s worth it. Things were just getting good too. No, scratch that, they were amazing from the very beginning! I really do love him. I wouldn’t ache this much if I didn’t. What a terrible way of proving it to myself. Especially when I never thought this would happen again.
But it did, so I’m sure as hell not about to throw in the towel. I dry off and get dressed, intending to go for a walk, because that’s when I do my best thinking. Maybe I could write a song. Yeah! One so powerful that Jace will realize just how sorry I am. Allison and I can figure out which flight he’ll be on, buy tickets, and bring a little boombox on board with us. I’ll sing to him right there in front of everyone!
Although, before I go to all that trouble, I should probably try calling him again. This time, when I place the phone to my ear, he picks up.
“Jace—” I begin.
“Where are you?”
“At home.”
“Okay.” After some rustling, he swears, the sound muffled. “Just give me ten minutes. I’ll call you back.”
He hangs up on me, not that I have any right to be offended. Besides, he didn’t come across like he’s pissed off. Just overwhelmed. He’s probably had one hell of a day. And I made it so much worse.
I postpone my walk, not wanting the neighbors to see me have a breakdown, depending on how the call goes. I’m pacing the living room when there’s a knock on the door. Allison! Thank goodness. She can be my Cyrano de Bergerac, listening in on the call and whispering the lines needed to fix this mess. I throw open the front door, intending to drag her inside. Then the breath catches in my throat, because it’s Jace. He looks exhausted and disheveled. I’ve never found him so attractive!
“Ben—” he begins to say.
He lets out an “oof!” as I slam into him and cling to his torso.
“I’m so sorry!” I blubber “I shouldn’t have hung up on you. I’m such an idiot!”
“You’re not,” Jace says, his arms wrapping around me. He pulls back and adds, “You might be a brat… But it just so happens that I love you.”
I stare indisbelief and shock, because it’s the first time he’s said it to me. The first timeanyguy has said it to me in fact, excluding my father, but he’s the furthest thing from my mind as I press Jace’s lips to mine. He responds with just as much enthusiasm. Even if he hadn’t spoken the words, I would have known anyway, because it’s all contained in that kiss.
