Page 153 of When Ben Loved Jace
“I thought we were planning our future.”
I search his eyes. “You want to adopt him?”
He nods. “Yeah. Why not?”
“Okay.” Laughter burbles out of me. “We’ll have to buy a second trailer. Or he can live in Greg and Michelle’s house, like a normal person. We’ll find a way.”
“He mentioned wanting a dog,” Jace says. “Am I remembering that correctly?”
I nod. “I’m sure you won’t make it long as a volunteer before bringing one home. Sounds like we’re going to have quite the little family, huh?”
“I’m just getting started,” Jace says. “That trailer was meant to be out on the road. I won’t be a flight attendant anymore, but I still want to travel. Let’s talk about family road trips. Jason can sleep in the car. We’ll bring a tent along too.”
“Perfect!” I shift to face him. “Where do you want to go first?”
We continue sitting there, tossing dreams into the world like the bread we cast out onto the water, the gleeful quacking of our audience matching the joy in my heart.
— — —
I’m brushing my teeth when Jace pads into the bathroom, his hair still wet from the shower we took together. I watch him approach in the mirror, amazed that I still find his naked body so alluring. I’ll never tire of it. Despite his best efforts, I always want more.
“Come get into bed with me,” he suggests.
“I’ll be late for work,” I reply after spitting into the sink.
“Tell them you got a flat tire.” His arms wrap around me, a hand loosening the towel around my waist until it drops to the floor, allowing our skin to touch even more. “Please. I need you.”
Work can wait. I bend over to rinse my mouth, shaking my rump while doing so.
Jace laughs. When I turn around, he kisses me. Then, my hand in his, he leads me back to the bedroom, which is filled with sunlight. I almost forgot how beautiful that can be. I’ve grown accustomed to our house being shrouded in darkness. After flopping onto the bed, he reaches for me. I notice that his face is strained.
“Do you want me to pull the curtains?”
“I’m all right.”
“It’s the neighbors I’m worried about,” I reply, crawling in after him.
“Let them bear witness to our love.”
I start to roll over, wanting him to take me into his arms like he always does. I make a great little spoon. Jace seems to have other plans, because he shakes his head. “I want to look at you.”
He’s lying on his side. I settle down while facing him. Jace reaches out to stroke my hair. A shiver races across my skin when the tips of his fingers caress an ear. His eyes dance with mine, waltzing deeper into their depths. I hide nothing. Everything I feel for him is right there for him to see.
“I adore you,” he says, his voice hoarse. “You’re the light of my life.”
“You’re not so bad yourself,” I reply playfully.
His smile is sad, tears breaking free. He can be so vulnerable as of late. So can I. The thought of losing him, even the remotest possibility…
I wipe away the tears, my thumb lingering to stroke his cheek, and bring my face so close to his that our noses touch. “I love you,” I whisper.
His chin trembles. Then he kisses me, inhaling deep through his nostrils while keeping his lips pressed against mine, like he wants to breathe me in. “I love you too, Ben,” he murmurs, leaving his forehead resting against mine. “Never forget that.”
“I won’t,” I promise him. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah. Since the day I first saw you.”
He reaches for my hand and places it over his heart, which is pounding for me. I do the same, matching his intensity with every beat. Our gazes remain locked, years seeming to pass in a small eternity for us alone. Well… almost.
