Page 88 of When Ben Loved Jace
I clench my jaw. “Because you don’t want your mom to worry that you’re going to Hell?”
He nods sheepishly.
“You’ve gotta be kidding me!” I shoot to my feet. “After all this time?”
“Why does it matter so much to you?”
Logic rings the doorbell, fashionably late. “Maybe because it’s the same reason we broke up the first time?”
Tim launches out of his chair and takes my hands. “Things are different now!”
“Obviously not!”
“They are! I don’t live with them. I’m done with college. They’re not a big part of my life anymore. I’m not gonna let my parents get in the way this time.”
“So what happens at the graduation ceremony?” I ask, already dreading the experience. “Do I have to stay away from you, like a dirty little secret?”
“Maybe we can pretend that…” Tim struggles inside himself until he seems to find some source of strength. “No. Fuck it! I’ll tell them, right then and there, with you at my side.”
“Really?” I ask from around a raw throat.
“Yeah,” he says, silver eyes meeting mine. “I’m not gonna lose you again. I don’t care what it takes. I love you, Benjamin.”
He pulls me into his arms, and I sob against his shoulder. Out of relief, because I don’t want to lose him either.
— ——
I’m melancholy when waking up in Tim’s bed the next morning. Our graduation is a few days away. I can’t ignore the outside world anymore. My parents will want to confirm details. I need to find out when my next shift at work starts.
“Wanna take a shower together?” Tim asks.
“No, you go ahead.”
I watch him pad naked toward the bathroom. He turns around at the door and shakes his hips, making his cock flop around. “You sure?”
“I’ll meet you in there,” I say with a grin.
Once he’s gone, I power on my phone. There are quite a few text messages from my parents, as expected. And a couple from Allison.
I hope you know what you’re doing.
That was sent in reply to me saying I’d be gone for a few days. The next one from her is more recent and sympathetic.
When you get a chance, let me know that you’re still all right.
I reply to that one immediately.
I’m doing good. I’ll be home later today.
When I check my other notifications, my stomach clenches when I discover a message from Adrien. It’s a long one too.
I regret what I said to you in the driveway. I shouldn’t have let my personal history with Jace color my opinion. If you’ve ever kicked a puppy (I’m not saying I have, nor am I denying it) that’s how he looks lately. I don’t think Jace cheated on you. He wasn’t willing to admit his infidelity to me until you came along, if only to spare my feelings, but he never lied about it either. At least he had the decency to end our relationship after it happened. That’s how I see things now. Jace has always been an honest man. If he says that he doesn’t know this Aaron person, I believe him.
The message was from two days ago. Adrien didn’t follow up to press the point. He didn’t need to. It’s powerful enough testimony to make me doubt everything again, because if Jace doesn’t know Aaron, who does?
My gaze moves to the nightstand where Tim’s phone rests. I look at Chinchilla, who watches me with complete trust. Do I really want to do this? Wouldn’t it be better to remain Tim’s beloved pet? I’m honestly not sure, but I grab his phone anyway, punch in my birthdate, and navigate to his contacts. There’s a long list of people that I don’t recognize. My stomach sinks,because two of them are named Aaron. Of course I don’t have any way of easily figuring out if either of them are the same guy. Not without the note… which Tim made sure to burn.
Although I did send a photo of it to Allison. I pick up my phone again, my heart racing as I navigate to that message. After glancing back and forth between screens a few times, I feel a little queasy, because there it is. A match. Maybe it’s a coincidence. Probably not. After making sure I can still hear the shower water running, I use Tim’s phone to call the number.
