Page 79 of When Ben Loved Jace
“And another thing,” Allison says while examining it. “Why did Aaron feel the need to leave his phone number? Are you telling me that Jace gave this guy his address, but didn’t exchange digits with him? The man isn’t an idiot. That’snothow you go about having an affair.”
“Maybe hewantedme to find out,” I retort. “To get back at me.”
“Hmm,” Allison says, feigning contemplation. “That does sound like something Jace would do.” She drops the act and takes my hand. “I’m not trying to rub salt in the wound, hon. I’m really not. I don’twantthis to be true. But as your friend, I’d be doing you a disservice if I didn’t tell you my honest opinion, and my gut says you’re being played. Think about it. Okay?”
I nod before intentionally moving on to other subjects. I learn that her dad is closing on a house, which makes me happy for her. And for myself, because it’ll be like having family in town for both of us. We joke about trying to get my parents to move here when they retire. My attempt to behave like my world isn’t falling apart is pulled off with such skill that I almost fool myself. But when Allison wants to watch one of her favorite singing competition shows, I grab the note and excuse myself before retreating to my room.
Maybe she’s right. Itisa little contrived how Aaron showed up, made sure he would be seen, and left all the information I would need to cast judgement on Jace, even providing his phonenumber in case I had follow-up questions. Which I did. Then again, Allison has never had the highest opinion of Tim, going so far as to keep his enrollment at our school a secret from me. She’s probably scared that this whole mess will push me back into his arms. At the moment, I’m too broken up over Jace to even consider that. But once I’ve healed…
My stomach sinks. Tim has a motive. I can’t ignore that if I’m being honest with myself. If heisplaying some sort of sick game, I want to find out now, before it’s too late to fix things with Jace. I grab my phone, but a call isn’t reliable enough. I need to look Tim in the eye when I ask if he’s behind this, and I’m sure as hell not going to give him advance warning.
I leave the apartment five minutes later. I drive straight to his house, march to the front door, and hammer on it with my fist. I hear Chinchilla barking from inside. I hope Tim answers. I don’t want Eric to see me like this, because I’m angry. At the right person this time.
“Hey!” Tim says when the door swings open. He looks genuinely surprised to see me. And vulnerable as he closes the door behind him. The last time we met, I’d told him it was the end. He starts to say something before choking up.
I feel it too. The relief in seeing each other again. All the pent-up emotions so desperate for release. Like a current inside each of us wanting nothing more than to connect. Does it really matter if the accusations are true or not? Isn’t it better this way?
I almost give in. Then I think of Jace, and all the love he’s shown, and it gives me enough strength to brandish the note.
“What is this?” I demand.
Tim takes the note from me, his brow furrowed up in confusion as he reads it. Then he looks up sharply.
“I’m sorry,” he says.
It almost sounds like a confession.
“Did you do this?” I demand.
Tim searches my eyes. Then he sighs. “If that’s what you’re here for…” He hands the note back and shakes his head.
“Do you swear to God?” I challenge, knowing how important such things are to him. “I need you to say it, Tim. Don’t just shake your head. I need to know for sure. Did you put someone up to this? Did you have Aaron leave the note on Jace’s door?”
Tim’s chest heaves a few times. Then he squares his jaw andlooks me right in the eye. “I swear to God that I didn’t have someone put that note on Jace’s door, and that I wasn’t involved with it in any way.”
The fight goes out of me. Tim wouldn’t lie. Not with his immortal soul on the line. To him, Hell is a very real place. Which can only mean that it’s true. Jace cheated on me. The hand clutching the note drops to my side. A sob escapes my lips. My heart is breaking.
“Hey!” Tim says in shock, stepping forward while opening his arms before seeming to second-guess himself. Me? I don’t care anymore. I need the comfort too much. I step forward, pressing myself against his body. When I feel his arms close around me, it all comes out. I cry. It’s messy, undignified, and embarrassing. But at least he’s there for me. The guy who hurt me so many times before, without ever meaning to. Now he can make up for it and catch me as I fall.
“Do you want to come inside?” he asks.
“Yeah,” I say, pulling back to wipe at my eyes.
Chinchilla is oblivious to the drama that played out on the front stoop, dancing around my shins until I squat to pet her. She licks the salt from my cheeks, and I’m happy to see it go, because I don’t like crying in front of other people. Does anyone?
“Where’s Eric?” I ask when Tim leads me to a silent living room.
“He’s on a cruise this week. Hey, I was thinking of ordering a pizza. We could kick back a few beers while we wait, and you can tell me what happened. Does that sound good?”
“Yeah,” I say eagerly. With all the stress I’ve been through lately, the bowl of cereal I had earlier didn’t sustain me for long.
“Cool. Be right back.”
Tim disappears in the direction of the kitchen. I sit on the floor so I can rub Chinchilla’s belly. It’s hard to stay down with a dog around, although I do feel a pang of sorrow when thinking of Samson, because I’ll probably never see him again, unless Jace and I become friends somehow. Or I take him back. I’m not sure about either possibility. I haven’t had time to process it all.
Tim returns with a couple of bottles. This time I don’t try to pace myself when drinking. What have I got to lose? At his prompting, I tell the story for the second time that day, but it feels different. I’m not trying to sort through what might havehappened and who could have been involved. I know now, so I lay it all out from start to finish, for my own benefit as much as Tim’s.
He seems to ache for me and even blames himself at one point.
