Page 64 of When Ben Loved Jace
“No,” I say, remembering Jace. I don’t want this. Not at the cost of hurting him. “We can’t.”
“Please, Benjamin,” Tim says softly.
“Seriously… Stop!”
Tim’s arms wrap around me, my willpower buckling, especially when our cocks grind together. Silver eyes seek permission once more, and I can’t even get my head to shake in protest. Tim’s lips press against mine. It’s too late now. I should kiss him back.
“That’s enough!”
Jace’s voice rips through the silence, breaking the spell. I muster all my strength and shove Tim away.
“Sorry, man,” he says, turning toward Jace, boner and all, “but we’ve gotta figure out a way of making this work. I’ve got a few ideas.”
“I noticed,” Jace says, his eyes flicking downward before he starts forward. “I’ve got one of my own.”
“I’m up for it,” Tim says, arms wide in invitation. “Come get in on this.”
He really needs to read the room, because the expression on my boyfriend’s face isn’t lustful. But itisprimal.
“You wanted to see my bad side?” Jace growls. “Here it is!”
He swings, cracking Tim across the chin, who falls straight back like he’s out cold. Jace keeps moving toward him, grabbing Tim by the shoulders just as his head submerges, and for a second, I’m terrified that Jace intends to drown him. He doesn’t though. He pulls Tim upright again, the shock seeming to have woken him up. Tim splutters and spits in confusion before gasping in air, his eyes wide.
“He said no!” Jace snarls. “So do I. There’s your answer!”
He shoves Tim against one of the stoney shelves. For support, presumably, but he isn’t exactly gentle.
Jace turns to me. “I’m leaving.”
And with that, he trudges through the water and out of the grotto. I instantly follow, only hesitating when I’m standing at the waterfall, where I glance back. Tim is still where Jace left him, his face twisted up with rage.
“I’m sorry,” I tell him. “I really am.”
And it’s true, because I feel what he feels. All the potential, more powerful than ever before. This is more than just hormones.What we have goes way deeper than that. I’m simply not free to explore it. Even though part of me still wants to. Even now, in the wake of disaster, I’m tempted to burn it all to the ground for him.
Instead I force myself to turn away so I can chase after Jace. He’s waiting at the edge of the lagoon. I expect him to stomp away with me trailing along behind. Instead he pushes aside the wet hair plastered to my forehead so he can look me in the eyes with transparent concern.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah. Of course. I know how it must have sounded but…” Tim’s history flashes through my mind—how he was once accused of things that weren’t true. And even if that wasn’t the case, being honest is too important to me. “Iwantedto kiss him, Jace.”
“I know you did. I’m not blind.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I get it,” Jace says. “Can we talk about this later? I wanna get out of here.”
“Yeah. Of course.” My mind begins to race as we head to the locker rooms. “I didn’t kiss him back. I need you to know that.”
Jace glances at me, but he’s clearly in no mood to discuss it now. We get dressed in silence, Jace no longer making eye contact. Once we’re ready to go, he rushes for the exit until I grab his arm.
“Wait! We have to give Allison a ride back.”
He nods wordlessly and follows me back to “party central” but stops some distance away. I can understand why he might not feel like socializing at the moment, especially with Tim’s friends. Allison has switched into her bikini and is dancing in the middle of a group of guys. I awkwardly push my way through to her so I can shout over the music.
“We’ve gotta go! Right now!”
“Huh? How come?”
