Page 50 of When Ben Loved Jace
“It was the only orange spice I could find in the cabinet,” I murmur while blushing.
“Did you eat it?” Eric inquires innocently.
Tim goes rigid. “Yeah,” he admits. “At least… I tried to.”
“He always liked my cooking,” I say dismissively, even though it’s an outright lie.
Tim’s gaze softens. “I definitely liked the way you took care of me.”
For whatever reason, this moves me way more than it should.
Eric clears his throat to dispel the tension. “Well then, this sounds like the perfect opportunity for Ben to show you what he’s learned since. Let’s all cook together!”
That’s exactly what we do. Tim decides we’re having chorizo street tacos. For all his boasting, he just takes care of the meat. I only have to quarter a lime and slice up radishes. Eric impresses me the most. He makes corn tortillas from scratch in between helping guide us where needed. Cooking together is a great way of breaking the ice. By the time we all sit down in a cozy dining room lined with hutches and art, I feel completely comfortable in Eric’s presence.
“So how did you two meet?” I ask as we begin the meal.
“Well,” Eric replies, “from my perspective, it all began the day two frat boys showed up at my front door.”
“You’re in a fraternity?” I ask Tim before holding up a hand to stave off his reply. “Never mind. Why am I even surprised?”
His expression is difficult to read. “Actually, it all started earlier than that,” he says to Eric. “If you’re cool with telling him.”
“I suppose thatisan important detail,” Eric concedes. “You see, such visits were something of an annual event for me. This particular fraternity would send their members out to former alumni, seeking donations for whatever fundraising initiative they had that year. Curiously enough, the culprit always seemed to be a leaky roof. Was there ever any truth to that?”
“If the frat house had leaks,” Tim replied, “I never noticed them.”
“So you used to be a member of the same fraternity?” I ask.
Eric nods. “What seems like ages ago. For me, it was a heady era of self-discovery. I’d always known that I was attracted to men and had indulged that inclination on occasion. Such things weren’t as easy back then. Gay men would meet in the strangest places, which was thrilling, but I wanted more. Then came the fateful day when a young man tried cruising me in a cinema. To my great annoyance, because it wasn’t an adult theater or anything tawdry. Handsome as he was, I was more interested in seeing the movie.” Eric laughs at the memory. “Michael was persistent though. And I was quite taken by his dark wavy hair, which he wore long.”
I notice how Eric’s eyes dart to Tim before returning to my own.
“Michael suggested we go somewhere private. I had more pressing desires, so I proposed we get dinner instead. He agreed, but only after some coaxing on my part, becausepeople like us had to be especially cautious in those days. You should have seen his face when I told him what I was really after. I wanted a relationship. A romantic partner to share the rest of my life with. That might not sound revolutionary to you, but at the time, it was almost unheard of.”
“My thesis touches on this!” I say in excitement. “Would you mind if I use you as a source?”
Eric nods his head. “I’d be pleased to help!”
“Tell him about the fraternity,” Tim says, reaching down to pass table scraps to Chinchilla which she licks directly off his palm. I’m glad I didn’t see that before we began cooking!
“Ah yes. Michael and I had actually met before, albeit briefly. He was a failed pledge at the fraternity I was a member of. As our relationship progressed, I ensured that his second attempt at joining was successful. Living under the same roof provided more opportunity for us to be together, although we always had to operate in secrecy. I fell madly in love with him.” A youthful flush spreads across Eric’s cheeks. “I’d had fleeting crushes on other men before, but this was something new. And I believed that he loved me too, despite him seeming incapable of expressing that as freely as I did.”
Tim is glowering now.
Eric notices, hesitating before he presses on. “We were happy, for a while. And perhaps that is why we grew careless. My own parents knew the truth and were accepting enough. I even brought Michael home to meet them. He was going to return there with me over the winter break, but before that could happen, our fraternity held its annual Christmas party. The weather was terribly cold. I still remember how beautiful the snow was—how it seemed to blanket the world in silence when we snuck out back to be together.”
Eric’s expression becomes pained. “It all seems so foolish now. The backyard of our own fraternity house! What a heedless risk to take, but we’d been drinking, there was a charming gazebo in the far corner, and I never could say no to Michael. As you might expect, we were caught in a rather compromising situation by one of the guests. She fled in shock, so Michael and I hastily circled around to the front of the house to let ourselves in. We parted ways there, mingling with others so as to have an alibi, but for me it was too late. The woman had seen clearly enough to identify me, which she did publicly. The party ground to a haltas the news spread. All eyes were on me, and I wasn’t prepared to deny the allegations. Part of me didn’t want to. Why should I be ashamed of the same love they indulged in so recklessly?"
"I agree," I say, my throat tight. I can’t bring myself to look at Tim. “What did Michael do?”
Eric takes a deep breath. “He held his tongue, even when the accusations became insults. To be fair, I claimed to have been with someone who had already left the party, wanting to protect him. But when they quite literally threw me out, Michael joined them. He was no less gentle as I was unceremoniously picked up against my will and tossed to the curb like so much garbage.”
That brings back painful memories of my own. The table is stifled by silence, until I break it.
“I’m really sorry,” I say.
“Think nothing of it,” Eric says generously. “It was a trying experience, yes, but many happy years followed. I met the love of my life soon after. Curiously enough, if not for that harrowing night, my life would have taken a very different course. I would have missed out on so much that I now adore.” He places his hand over Tim’s, patting it supportively before withdrawing. “Anyway, my name lived on in infamy, and I became something of a laughing stock to the fraternity who—decades later—sent me one of my dearest friends.”
