Page 92 of When Ben Loved Tim
I watch him take a bottle out of the mini-fridge and pour two glasses.
“Here’s to the best Christmas I ever had,” Tim says, holding his up.
I’m taken aback by that, endless festive scenes from my childhood flashing through my mind, but none of them compare with getting to be with him. “Let’s make it the first of many,” I reply before we clink glasses.
We eye each other while taking sips. I feel a flush of warmth, but it’s too soon to be alcohol-induced. Tim continues to watch me. I can’t look away either. We both set down our glasses at the same time. Then we kiss, neither of us interested in stopping. I slide my hand beneath his sweater. He flinches, probably because my fingers are still so cold. When I start to pull away, he grabs my hands and places them flat against his body, so I can warm myself. I can feel his skin prickling wherever they slide, but he seems to like it, judging from the way he backs me up against the wet bar as we continue to kiss. I shove one of my hands into his pants. Tim leans back and undoes them before yanking his underwear down, his cock springing out. He wraps my fingers around it with a grin.
“I could melt ice with this thing,” he says.
“You aren’t kidding,” I say, pumping a few times before switching hands.
He’s definitely got my blood flowing! I drop to my knees, greedily taking him in my mouth, but he soon pulls me to my feet again. I lean back while he works on my jeans, curious to see what he’ll do. As soon as the zipper is down, Tim slides his hands inside and moves them around to my butt. He pulls me close while squeezing my cheeks.
“I wanna do it with you,” he grunts.
There’s no mistaking his meaning when he spins me around and kisses my neck while grinding against me. I shift so I can pull down my underwear. Tim places his cock between my buns, and I’m so turned on that I want him to shove it inside. Although when he reaches down and angles himself, as if intending to do exactly that, I chicken out.
“Hold on,” I say, turning to face him. “I’ve never done that before.”
“I figured,” Tim says. “Neither have I.”
I know he’s slept with girls. And it’s true that I can’t exactly compete in that department. Not directly. But I like that we’ve found an area where we’re both inexperienced.
“I’ll need some sort of lube,” I say. And a team of experts to tell me exactly what I’m supposed to do, because glancing down, I’m reminded that he’s a big boy.
“I’m sure we can find something,” Tim says. “Uhh… In the bathroom maybe?”
I shrug. “Let’s go look.”
We pull up our pants. I follow him to the downstairs bathroom, where he opens drawers and cabinets until he finds a bottle of lotion. “Think this will work?” he asks when holding it up.
I peer at the label. The lotion is scented, which might be helpful, since I’m a little insecure about him messing around down there. Maybe this isn’t such a good idea. Then again, I can see his cock straining against his jeans. He really wants this. I do too but… “Can you give me some privacy?”
“No problem,” he says, shutting the door behind him when he goes.
I exchange a look with myself in the mirror before murmuring, “What have you gotten yourself into?”
It’s not that I haven’t tried. Anal sex is part of being gay, I figure. So every once in a while, I’ll experiment by putting a finger inside myself. But none of those attempts actually felt good. Even worse, on the most recent occasion, I could tell that I needed to use the restroom. Talk about a mood killer! I’m petrified of that happening now, so I pull down my pants, squirt some lotion on my index finger, and brace myself when sliding it inside. I poke around, relieved to discover that nobody is in the waiting room. Then I wash in the sink to make myself as presentable as possible.
I’m anything but certain when opening the door to the bathroom. I almost laugh when I see Tim standing there waiting for me.
“Ready?” he asks, his breath sounding short.
“Yeah,” I say, despite all my reservations.
He steps forward to kiss me. Then he takes my hand and leads me back to the living room. We pick up where we left off, slowly undressing each other while continuing to make out. When we’re both completely naked, he lays me down on a bed of discarded wrapping paper. I open my legs for him and reach for the bottle of lotion. He grins at me while lubing himself up. I’m petrified when Tim positions himself above me, his aim unnervingly accurate as the head of his cock begins to press against my hole.
“Umm…” I say, wondering if it’s too late to reconsider.
Tim’s mouth silences me with a kiss. The way he’s rubbing against me does feel nice, but when he finally pushes his way inside, I see stars. And not in a good way, because it fucking hurts! “Wait!” I hiss.
Tim pushes himself up to see me better. “Should I pull out?” he asks before starting to.
Which only makes it hurt worse.
“No!” I say. “Don’t move.”
I pound my fist against the floor while grimacing.
