Page 62 of When Ben Loved Tim
“Oh.” Ronnie clearly has more questions, but a nudge from Allison makes him stifle them.
I can only assume that she’ll fill him in later. Which is fine. Even though I told Tim that I wouldn’t, I did actually swear Ronnie and Leon to secrecy. They were cool about it, when I explained that he hadn’t come out yet. Of course I failed to mention that Tim has a girlfriend. I don’t like dwelling on that. Allison, on the other hand…
“Are you sure about this?” she asks when we’re alone.
“About what?” I ask innocently while watching Ronnie walk away.
“Ben!”
I sigh and turn toward her. “Yes, I’m sure. Krista is just for show. She’s notreallyhis girlfriend.”
“Try telling her that,” Allison retorts.
“I would love to.”
“I mean it! If she’s his girlfriend, what does that make you?”
“The guy he’s sleeping with,” I say, intending for it to sound important. But once the words slip out of my mouth, I can’t ignore how damning they are. “That means more than some silly title.”
“I know it does to you,” she says, not needing to twist the knife. I’ve already gotten the point. Her tone softens. “I’m worried you’ll get hurt. That’s all.”
“I’m okay,” I promise her. “Really,” I insist when she continues to look concerned.
“Okay,” she says before hugging me. “I’ll see you after school?”
“Yeah.”
We go our separate ways, but her words remain with me.If she’s his girlfriend, what does that make you?I can’t stop thinking about that as the day continues, especially when I return to the same hall for my physics class. I take my seat next to Danny, who keeps glancing over at me while we wait for the teacher to show up.
“There’s a comic book convention this weekend,” he says suddenly.
“Oh yeah?” I ask, grateful for the distraction.
“Yeah. I have a flyer.” He starts digging through his backpack, his bouffant ginger hair wobbling on top of his head. “Wait until you see everyone who’ll be there,” he says while searching. “I’m going to get so many autographs. Look!”
He pulls out a crinkled flyer that includes a list of names, but none that mean anything to me. “That’ll be cool,” I say politely.
“You could go too,” Danny says with an eager expression.
I hesitate, unsure if he’s asking if I want to go with him, or if he’s just excited and wants me to know about the convention. “I already have plans this weekend,” I say with a grimace that he’s welcome to interpret as apologetic.
“Oh.” Danny seems crestfallen, making me wonder if he has any friends. “What are you doing?”
“Going on a date,” I reply, mentally replacing myself with Krista so I was the one who leapt around Tim gleefully while proclaiming him to be the best boyfriend ever.
“With another guy?” Danny asks.
I take a deep breath, preparing myself for his reaction. He’s obviously heard about me, like everyone else at school. Once I confirm the rumors, he might say something rude. Or worse, he might clam up and stop talking to me. Not that I look forward to these little chats, but being rejected sucks, even if you’re not particularly fond of the other person.
“Yeah,” I reply. “I’m going on a date with another guy.”
“What’s it like?” he asks.
Which isn’t one of the usual responses. “Which part exactly?” I ask.
“Going on a date,” Danny says hurriedly. “I’ve never been on one.”
“Oh.” I think about it. “Me neither. It’ll be my first time.”
