Page 36 of When Ben Loved Tim
I smile into the phone. “Should I bring my Rollerblades?”
“No!” Tim says with a mad cackle. “Definitely not. See you then?”
“Yeah,” I reply. “See you then.”
I’m biting my lip when lowering the phone.
“Do you have to go?” Allison asks.
I shake my head. “Not until later. He wants to go for a walk. At night.” I don’t explain why, letting it sound romantic, rather than him not wanting to be seen with me. I’m honestly okay with either, as long as I get to be around him again.
“Thank god!” Allison says. “I need my Ben time.”
“Not as much as I need my Allison time.” Now that I have plans with Tim, it’s easier to focus on her and simply have fun together, even though he makes frequent guest appearances in my imagination. I’m glad we’ll be together in real life soon, because I have questions. The kind that can’t be answered with multiple-choice checkboxes.
* * * * *
Tim is already waiting for me when I arrive at the park that night. Which is nice. I don’t actually care if someone is a cheapskate, but if they kept me waiting, that would make me feel unvalued. That we’re both early is a good sign. Especially considering that he’s not fast on his feet at the moment.
“No crutch?” I ask, having noticed that he hasn’t been using it at school.
“Nah,” Tim says. “I’m not going to be in this boot much longer either.”
‘Have you seen the doctor again?”
“Nope, but I’ve been doing rehab every night. That’s why we’re out here.” His gaze takes me in. “You look nice.”
“Thanks!” I say, happy that he noticed. I freshened myself up before leaving the house and put on a dress shirt. I nearly took it off again, because we’re going for a walk, not out to a fancy restaurant. But then I figured there’s no sense in being with him if I can’t be myself, so I kept it on, wanting the night to feel that much more special. He’s wearing jogging shorts and a muscle shirt, as he often does, but that’s fine with me. I’m practically developing a fetish for the combo. Besides, with the weather getting cooler, he won’t be able to wear such skimpy clothes much longer, and I intend to soak up the view while it’s still on display.
“You all right?” Tim asks as I continue to stare.
“I was just thinking the same thing about you,” I say smoothly, while blushing like an idiot. “That you look nice.”
Tim laughs. “I missed you.”
“Oh yeah?” I ask, even though I’m certain he meant it as a joke.
“Yeah.” His happy expression falters. “My parents are back.”
His tone makes it sound like he’s sharing bad news. “Were they upset about your ankle?”
Tim shakes his head. “They barely even noticed.”
I study him a moment. “That’s what we wanted, right?”
“Yeah, of course,” he says dismissively. “I guess I just got used to having the place to myself.” He opens his mouth as if to say more before closing it again. I’d pay top dollar to hear those words. Before I can offer, he tilts his head and starts walking in that direction. “Bryce did the craziest thing at lunch today.”
“Did he?” I ask.
“Uh-huh. He’s always asking if people are going to finish their fries, so I got an extra portion, just for him, and when he said it wasn’t enough, Darryl offered his but only if he ateallof them. Like, the double portion he already had plus another. So then Stacy gets in on the action and offers hers—”
The story is fine. I just don’t see what it has to do with us. That’s the topic I’m most eager to discuss, but he’s left me hanging since that kiss. And the words that had felt so comforting at the time and have been impossible to figure out ever since.
You’re not alone. You have me.
What did he mean exactly? That he supports me as a friend? I keep thinking about his disclaimers after we kissed, how he said he didn’t know what he was doing and couldn’t make any promises. That hadn’t mattered in the moment. I was just so thrilled to have been kissed by him. But now I’m wondering if he was buzzing from the drink he had and only wanted to cheer me up. He sure had acted like there was more when not wanting Krista to see me at his house. He dodged my kiss right after, so I honestly don’t know. But it’s time to find out.
“That’s funny,” I say at the end of his story. “And gross.”
