Page 24 of Switch!
I need answers. And a junkie fix, because it sure would feel good to be him again. I rest my head on the desk and possess Caleb. Phase Two is surprisingly easy to enter. I unlock his phone, my unanswered questions sidelined as I navigate to his text messages. I want to see that photo of Ashley and figure out a way of keeping it so I at least have a souvenir. I’m surprised to discover that they’ve been interacting since our date.
Caleb:We should get together again. Soon.
Ashley:I thought we already said goodbye?
Caleb:Yeah, but we don’t have to stick with that. Tonight?
When this didn’t get a quick enough response, he added.
Caleb:Don’t leave me hanging.
Ashley:What do you expect to happen?
Caleb:Anything you’re up for.
Ashley:That doesn’t sound like the new you.
Caleb:Probably because I haven’t moved yet. Come on. Let’s meet up.
Caleb:I’ll take you somewhere nice.
Caleb:Don’t be a tease.
I hate him. I’m tempted to send her an apologetic text and ask her to block me, if she hasn’t already. Instead I leave his body in disgust, feeling torn, because he ruined the memories Ashley and I made together, but I also know that this is for the best. His repulsive behavior will push her away. She’ll be safe. Over the next two weeks, I possess him daily to check his phone, but Ashley is done communicating with him. Good.
The final day of school before summer always makes me nervous. The likelihood of getting in trouble is smaller, since teachers don’t want to stick around to monitor students in detention. Bullies often feel emboldened by this. More than one school year has ended in humiliation for me. Maybe my new powers have given me confidence, because I don’t try to hide as I leave the building. I walk down the middle of the hallway instead. If anyone messes with me, I’ll find a way of defending myself. Even if I have to scream at the top of my lungs to attract help while they assault me. I’m done making it easy. I’ll fight tooth and nail, even in this frail body, if that’s what it takes.
Despite the brave thoughts, I’m still relieved when I make it to the bus unscathed. I’m dreaming of the three gloriously empty months ahead when I hear sniffing. I look across the aisle to see Melvin wiping his nose. His pressed white shirt is speckled with red. Is that blood?
“Hey,” I say. “Are you all right?”
Melvin glances over at me, his glasses sitting at an angle on his face, like they’ve been bent out of shape. His hair is messed up too. Then he silently looks away again.
I move over to his seat. “You can tell me,” I say. “We’re friends.”
I can tell this is a word he doesn’t hear often. Melvin looks surprised, but he’s still not talking.
“You can trust me,” I urge.
His lip trembles before the dam breaks. “Caleb McCain,” Melvin chokes out. “He…” A sob interrupts him. He doesn’t seem capable of continuing.
I don’t need him to. I’ve been there often enough. Part of me hoped that Caleb would learn from what I put him through. That wasn’t my goal when defending myself through him, or guiding him on a successful date, but I thought he might take those experiences and draw the obvious conclusion: Life is better if you aren’t hurting others, or only thinking of yourself. Caleb is a bad student, it would seem, because nothing has changed. He’s still selfish and cruel. That will continue when he moves. He’ll simply be terrifying kids in Tacoma instead of here.
My jaw clenches. Too bad I can’t make Caleb hurt himself. I’d like to shove his hands in a blender so it wouldn’t be so easy for him to… I sigh. That’s not who I am, but I do wish there was a way of stopping him from bullying anyone else. All I can do now is comfort Melvin, so I get him talking about his favorite subject—history—and get off at his stop instead of mine so he’ll feel safe during the walk home.
We’re nearly at his place when I change the subject. I tell him how often I’ve been bullied, and how I reached the conclusion that it’s not good to be an easy target. I don’t mention my powers. I want him to know about the options available to him. Tell someone, I urge. His parents, a teacher, an anonymous person on a hotline. Hell, go to the police if necessary. Talk to any adult who will listen and do so over and over again until the problem stops. There's no shame in asking for help. Make noise, even as the abuse is happening. Let the consequences become so inconvenient, difficult, or even embarrassing that it’s no longer worth it to the bullies. Do anything but remain silent.
I think he gets the message. Once Melvin is safely inside his home, I begin the walk to mine, relieved that I won’t have to deal with anything like this again until senior year.
— — —
I spend the first week of my summer vacation doing research. Obsessively. I can’t be the only person this is happening to. I’ve never felt special in my life, even now, so I don’t believe for a second that I’m a pioneer. Possession isn’t a new concept, but all accounts of it feature devils and demons. I haven’t noticed any horns sprouting from my head, and I certainly don’t have a barbed tail. Then again, early practitioners of modern medicine were often persecuted as witches. Maybe people like me have been forced into hiding. I write a few posts under a burner account, hoping to make contact with others, but these are either ignored or ridiculed.
I keep my research theoretical. I don’t attempt further practical experiments like possessing people at the movie theater. I leave the apartment only for job interviews. I’ve had two so far with another scheduled for today, which I need to get ready for. I nod at Raymond on my way to the bathroom. He’s sitting on the couch, watching TV. Mom says he’s moving in when his lease is up. He might as well live here already, considering how often he’s around. Raymond works afternoons and evenings at a car dealership, leaving his mornings free to invade my privacy. That’s another reason I want a job. Being at home isn’t fun with him around.
I think about Caleb while I’m in the shower, disturbed by how often he’s on my mind. The only other person I think about as much is Ashley, but for vastly different reasons. I want to see her again, the possibility shrinking by the day. Caleb leaves for Tacoma tomorrow. The dreaded June thirteenth. I could possess him, throw my body in the back seat of his truck, and beg Ashley to see me again. I would explain everything, how the person she enjoyed spending time with isn’t going anywhere. I’d prove my claims, we’d fall in love, and life would be perfect.
I’m caught up in these fantasies as I turn off the water and slide open the frosted shower door. Then I immediately slam it shut again because I’m not alone.
