Page 28 of Wild Card
“Pussy.” He snarls as he looks through the door at the kid, who's still lying out on the bed like he’s tied to it. Hell, if I were him, I’d be trying my best to run.
“Still got a lesson to learn on the rules in our town.” Taint clicks his knuckles before heading inside, kicking the door shut behind him, and I leave him to teach it, heading back toward the reception and taking a few fifties out my wallet.
“For the damage,” I tell the guy, placing them on the counter. “And I’d turn that TV up a little louder, there's gonna be noises coming from room four.”
FOURTEEN
Ruby
Ifinish filling Earl in on what happened when he gets back to the bar, and after closing the place up for him, I decide to take a nightcap and wait up a little longer in the hope of seeing Ash. I shouldn’t torture myself; I should start learning to accept what my fate is. But every time I see that guy, I get a feeling that I’m fast becoming addicted to. I can’t stand thinking about the things I’ll have to do with Brett once we’re married. Yet, when I think about doing those things with Ash, everything changes. My skin goes all tingly, and something warm and exciting collects in the pit of my stomach. I can’t help imagining his hands on me, gripping just that little too tight, while his tongue invades my mouth.
“Shit.” I laugh at myself for being so pathetic. It’s been a long day, and I really need to go to bed and try to get some sleep.
Knocking back my drink, I stop staring at the door, willing Ash to come through it and steadily start making my way up the stairs to my room.
My living space may be very basic, but it feels like home. I never expected to be staying here as long as I have, but I’mcomfortable. It’s convenient for work, and Earl is good to me. I’d much rather be here being myself than playing happy families with Brett. It doesn’t matter how beautiful the home he created for us is. I already know I’ll never be happy there.
I still feel much too young to settle down. I want to experience more of that reckless freedom I felt when I was riding with Ash earlier today.
I swap my clothes for my PJs, then cleanse my skin and moisturize just like Momma always did before she went to bed. I allow myself a few seconds to wonder what she’d think of all that's happening to me. She’d undoubtedly feel guilt; she’d blame herself, but if I know her, she’d be telling me to fight.
I’ve thought so many times about leaving town, moving somewhere new, and starting a fresh, new life, but I like the people here too much. Mom loved this little town and the people in it. The years we spent here, she was happy. I have friends here now, people who care about me, and something tells me that even if I did leave, Brett and Dad would find me.
I wish I knew why it was me that Brett had to involve in his grand plans for the future. He does so well at reminding me that I’m just an average girl, yet he’s never taken the time to explain why this average girl is so pivotal to his plans and has to have the rest of her life ruined.
People who have money, like the Porters do, tend to believe that life revolves around it, but I see things differently. Everything I own and treasure is in this room, and nothing of that is worth a cent. Brett would be better matched with someone like Katie Trigg. Her family is rich. Her daddy’s a judge, and she’s much better at putting on a show for people than I am. Not to mention the fact that she’s way prettier.
I lie in bed staring at the ceiling, wasting the time I should spend sleeping by wishing things could be different. I hated how disappointed in me Ash looked earlier tonight. I’ve felt the guiltof it ever since I left to go to Brett’s house. It’s strange that a stranger can be so invested in me, but I can’t help liking it. I like how it feels to have him care for me. Although me caring for him in return seems to have its disadvantages. Him rushing off the way he did when I got back has made me worried. Every time I think about the danger he could be in, I get a strange sense of panic in my chest that I can’t shake off.
I eventually hear movement on the stairs, followed by a creak of the landing floor, and when I see the shadow of his footprints through the tiny gap at the bottom of the door, I smile when they pause outside my room. That excitement stirs up inside me again, and although I really shouldn’t, I silently pray for him to knock at my door. I want him to come inside to say goodnight, to tell me what happened tonight, even if it’s something bad. I want him to hold me in his arms the same way he did when I thought it was Earl in that damn ambulance.
I swear I don’t breathe while I wait for him to make his next move, and when the floor creaks again and he moves on, all that excitement turns into a heavy disappointment.
“This guy’s gonna drive me crazy,” I whisper to myself and throw my head back into the pillow. Anticipation has caused the space between my legs to start throbbing with its own pulse. There's a desperate ache that I’ve never felt before, and I’m wondering how it’s possible to crave something I’ve never had. It’s as frustrating as it is puzzling, and I claw at my hair while trying to come up with a way to sustain it.
I could try touching myself, maybe imagine that my hand belongs to him. Or I could just get up, cross the landing, and go to him…Check that he’s okay. If he was doing club work, there's every chance he could have been injured, and Idoowe him a favour since he was there for me last night.
I slowly creep out of bed and start making my way toward the door. I’ve got plenty of footsteps left between here and his roomto convince myself that this is a terrible idea, yet every step I take closer convinces me that it’s not. I make it out onto the landing, and when I see light creeping out from under his door, I quickly tap it with my knuckles before any sense takes over.
“Who is it?” His rough voice comes from the other side, and even that makes me go all kinds of giddy.
“It’s just me…Ruby,” I answer, chewing on my thumb and considering running back to my room. He’s going to think I’m pathetic for going back to Brett, and I have no defense for it, none that I can tell him about, anyway. He’s going to have questions. Questions I can’t give him the answer to and suddenly I want to turn and run.
“Come in,” he calls back, and before I can give myself a chance to hesitate, I twist the doorknob and march inside.
“Wow!” I pause and stare when I see him standing in front of me in just his jeans. His torso is long, ripped, and fucking incredible. Ash clearly works out.
“I was, ermmm…I just. I came to check that you're okay.” I manage to form somewhat of a sentence, lowering my head to the floor and trying not to stare.
“You came to check if I’m okay?” He laughs at me, pulling the chair out from under the desk, then twisting it around so he can straddle it. “Darlin’, I ain’t the one who's in an abusive relationship.” He looks up at me and somehow even makes the judgmental look sexy.
“Can we not talk about that?” I swallow the lump in my throat. “I was worried and was just being nice. I don’t want things to be bad between us,” I admit, knowing that despite the fact he comforted me earlier, he’s mad at me. My actions will be making no sense to him, so I can understand why.
“How do you want things to be between us?” he asks directly, looking me deep in the eyes so I feel his intensity.
“I want us to be friends; we’re living here together, we should get along,” I explain, leaving out the part about me wanting to be his, and his alone. The guy will already be thinking I’m insane.
“See, there's the problem.” He points his finger at me and laughs bitterly. “ I may not have many of 'em, but I care about my friends and I don’t tolerate it when people hurt 'em.” He rests his forearms over the back of the chair and waits for my response. All I want to do is step into his space and have him wrap those arms around me.
