Page 52 of Wild Card
“Is it because I can’t offer you what he can?” I call after her, needing to know the truth.
She turns around and looks straight back at me, and I expect her to launch a defense, but instead, she sags her shoulders and looks disappointed in herself.
“Yes,” she admits, in a whisper so quiet that I barely hear it.
“Then I hope it’s worth all you have to sacrifice.” I storm out past her, heading straight up to my room so I can get my shit and get the fuck outta here.
TWENTY-FOUR
Two Weeks Later
Ruby
“I’m sorry, I really shouldn’t be coming to you with my problems, not with all that's happened, but there's no one else who knows the full story.” I feel guilty loading all this onto Esmé, but I need to talk to someone. I’ve been a mess since Ash left town. I swear, I spend every minute either checking my phone for a message or wondering where he is. I’ve heard nothing from him since he left, neither has Earl, and I’m feeling hollow inside.
“I just don’t understand why you lied to him.” Esmé looks confused as she places an iced tea in front of me. The wedding is tomorrow, and her father and Brett are at the clubhouse ensuring everything is ready for the big day. I’m told there will be a lot of important people attending, and I’m already feeling the pressure.
“I couldn’t exactly tell him the truth now, could I?” I whisper, despite the fact we’re in her house, alone. “I thought if Ash left town, all this would be easier.” I shake my head and start to cry.
“Yeah, well, you thought wrong. You can be ditsy sometimes, but I never had you down as stupid, Ruby Saunders. That biker boy loves you, and what happened in the past wouldn’t change that. What your mom did was in self-defense, and even if it wasn’t, it wasn’t your fault,” she reminds me.
“I know how it feels to lose a parent; it stirs up hate inside you. I couldn’t blame anyone for what happened to my momma, but Ash–”
“He wouldn’t blame you for what happened to his father,” she interrupts me before I can say it. “How could he?”
“I just have to try and find a way to forget him.” I sigh miserably because the truth is, I don’t want to. I always want to be able to remember the way he made me feel, and the way my stomach fluttered whenever I was near him. I need to remember it for all the hard times that are coming my way, once this wedding is over.
I hear a loud, gravelly engine coming down the Porters' drive, and immediately I get up from the kitchen table and rush toward the window. I get the same thrill of excitement every time I hear something that sounds like a bike engine these days. Yet I don’t know why. I had the chance to go with Ash, and I didn’t take it. Nothing about my situation has changed.
“Speaking of biker boys in love.” I let out a disappointed breath when I see Hack getting off his bike and starting to make his way to the front door.
Esmé looks back at me cluelessly, and when the doorbell chimes, she gets up with a confused frown and starts heading out to the hall to answer it.
“Hack?” She sounds surprised to see him, though I don’t know why; he’s been calling round here every other day since the incident.
“I was just in the area, thought I’d check if ya needed anythin’.” He shrugs like it’s no big deal, and looks a little embarrassed when he sees me hovering in the kitchen doorframe. “Ruby.” He tips his head politely.
“Have you heard anything from Ash?” The words come out fast and desperate before my pride holds them back. Hack was the club member Ash got closest to in the short time he was in town. I’m wondering if they’ve stayed in touch.
“A few times. He seems to be doing good.” He smiles before turning his focus back to Esmé.
“Where is he?” I blurt out another question, frustrating myself for having no cool.
“I don’t know; he’s a nomad, he could be anywhere.” Hack is starting to get frustrated with my interruptions, so I decide to stay quiet, even if there is plenty more that I want to ask him.
“Was there anything else?” Esmé asks hopefully; she's practically swinging on the door, begging for him to ask her on a date, but all he does is scratch the back of his neck awkwardly and flush red.
“No, darlin’, just checkin’ in.” He nods her goodbye before he turns away and heads back to his bike, and when Esmé closes the door, she leans back against it and growls in frustration.
“You know, you could always askhimout,” I suggest with a laugh that I know is gonna irritate her.
“Yeah? Andyoucould be with Ash right now, but you’re not,” she reminds me, marching past me into the kitchen and making the smile drop from my lips.
I ended up staying at the Porters’ for dinner. I listened to Brett and his dad talk about the country club and how amazing our special day is going to be, and while I tried to look enthusiastic, the whole time my mind was on Ash. I want so badly to believe everything that Esmé told me earlier would be true, but I know how big the club is on loyalty. They wouldn’t take the death of one of their members lightly. For years, they’ve thought what happened to Dom Monroe was club-related, and it’s better off for everyone if it stays that way. From what I’ve gathered, Ash didn’t get to spend all that much time with his father. He left town as a boy; came back as a teenager to prospect, then ended up in jail for a crime I’m still unsure of. He believes his dad was a good man, and despite knowing differently, I feel he deserves to keep on believing it. If I’d have told Ash why my mom did what she did, he would have to face up to the fact his father isn’t who he thought he was.
I look out of my bedroom window, onto the town square, and see Priest Wilson and all the locals standing around the huge, wooden cross that stands tall beside the church steps. The town is holding a vigil for Kaleb Kingston tonight. He’s been missing for two weeks now, and still no one’s heard a thing. His parents are worried sick. They must have spent thousands on campaigns trying to find him, and the town has never been busier; reporters and news stations are camped out everywhere. The guesthouse is full, and Earl’s turned down loads of offers from people wanting to stay here. Something a little hopeful in my heart is telling me he’s keeping Ash’s room free, in case he comes home.
I made an excuse, said I had a headache because I couldn’t face it. I can’t help wondering if Kaleb’s disappearance is thereason Ash had to get out of town so quickly. Esmé keeps assuring me that it wasn’t Kaleb that she bought the pills off, but I know how wild his lake parties could get.
