Page 81 of Anxious Hearts
‘Nothing,’ Kelly whispered.
Eli stared at her for a long moment as though trying to read her thoughts. ‘I don’t believe you.’
‘Please, Eli, don’t make this any harder than it has to be.’
Eli’s face contorted and his eyes grew watery. ‘Make this harder?’ he croaked. ‘How could I possibly make this harder?’ He held her hands. ‘I love you, Kelly. And whatever Michael said to you, we can work around it together. Fight it together. Whatever we need to do. But let’s just do it together.’
Kelly disengaged her hands from his and let them drop by her side. She watched Eli crumple in front of her, deflated, defeated, desperate. Steeled herself. She could only lie to him one more time before she broke.
‘I don’t love you, Eli. I’m sorry. It’s over.’
Chapter Thirty-six
‘Let’s troll them.’
‘We’re not trolling them.’
‘Come on, it’ll be fun!’
Kelly shook her head at Toula. ‘You’re supposed to be comforting me in the wake of my latest relationship breakdown and career disaster.’
‘Exactly. And what is more comforting than trolling Finn and Sophia Loren with fake Instagram accounts?’
‘We’renottrolling them.’
Toula sighed and rolled her eyes. She sat on the couch next to Kelly and handed her a glass of red wine.
‘Should you be drinking when you’re breastfeeding?’
‘I was pumping my norgs all day. Expressed enough wine-free milk to feed a herd. I understand now why cows always sound like they’re depressed.’ She impersonated the long, low moo of a mother cow.
Kelly laughed, then drank. She closed her eyes as though the red wine could wash away all the pain. Even if only for a night.
‘Just one comment on their latest photo?’ Toula said.
‘Absolutely not.’
‘You’re so lame. This isnotmy idea of a fun night out.’
‘You’re not out. You’re in my apartment.’
‘I’m out of the clutches of my seven and a half-month-old son, Kelly. Believe me, this is the best night out of my life.’
Kelly sighed. ‘I wish I could say the same thing.’
Toula leaned over and rubbed Kelly’s leg. ‘Don’t be so dramatic, Kel. Nothing has changed. You’ll still do your exam. You’ll still be brilliant. You’ll still be the doctor you dreamed of.’
‘I never dreamed of being a doctor in regional Victoria.’
Toula waved her away. ‘Michael won’t be at the Children’s forever, Kel.’
‘Yeah, but by the time he retires, it’ll be too late. Everyone will have moved on without me. Trained at the Children’s, got jobs there, begun consulting there. And because of my own stupidity, I’ll be stuck in some arse end of the earth small town weening five-year-olds off their parents’ vapes.’
Toula laughed. ‘You are the worst and most judgemental snob I’ve ever met.’
‘But you still love me.’
Toula twirled a finger around the rim of her glass and stared into the dark wine. ‘You know,’ she said whimsically, ‘you could always defer your training.’
