Page 86 of Anxious Hearts
‘Is he all right?’
‘Yes.’
Kelly buzzed Finn’s mother through the security door and waited for her to make the short trip to the apartment. She couldn’t think of a single reason for Deanna Walsh to be here, particularly at eight in the morning, other than that Finn was in deep trouble. She knew what Deanna thought of her. Always had. It would be killing her to have to visit Kelly for help, the one she’d always looked down her nose at.
Kelly opened the door to let Deanna in. They didn’t kiss or hug or even exchange a word. Just a polite nod before Kelly gestured to her couch.
‘I’d rather stand,’ Deanna said. ‘I won’t be here long. I’m on shift in half an hour.’
‘Okay,’ Kelly replied. They hovered awkwardly at the entrance to her apartment. Kelly felt as though she had been called before the school principal and was waiting to hear her fate.
Deanna held her handbag in both hands against her stomach, as though Kelly might attempt to steal it at any moment. Her hair was pulled tight into a no-nonsense bun and she wore lavender scrubs. ‘Finley has got himself into some trouble,’ she said.
‘What sort of trouble?’
‘It’s not clear exactly, but his agent rang me last night to say she thought it was serious. It’s been affecting his work and she’s concerned about his upcoming audition.’
Kelly felt an unexpected thrill of excitement. ‘He got a callback?’
‘Yes. This is his opportunity to be recognised for his talent and we don’t want him to throw it away because …’ She cleared her throat. Dropped eye contact for a second. ‘Well, because you two have had some sort of spat.’
Kelly’s excitement hardened into cold anger. ‘So, this is my fault again. I thought I was the one to blame for him pursuing acting. Now I’m the one to blame when it’s all going to hell.’
‘I didn’t say that.’
‘You didn’t need to. Of course your perfect little Finley couldn’t be responsible. So it must be me.’
Deanna pursed her lips. ‘I understand you and Finn have had a falling out.’
‘I bet you’re pretty happy about that.’
‘It’s no secret that I don’t think you’re good for Finley, but he needs your help, so I’m here to ask for it.’
‘Why don’t you ask his girlfriend?’
‘They broke up. More’s the pity.’
Kelly’s heart tripped, regrouped and beat faster. ‘What happened?’
‘I don’t know. Everything was wonderful between them and now it isn’t.’ Deanna’s movements were birdlike: short, sharp bursts of activity. A turn of her head. Flinch of her body. Even the way she spoke. If a sparrow could talk, Kelly was sure it would sound just like her.
The last time Kelly had seen Finn, six weeks ago, she’d been carving into her own flesh with a kitchen knife. He had been in the middle of a mental breakdown. Both of them were at rock bottom. She told him to stay away, but had she really meant it? Had she really expected him to? Apparently, it had been considerably easier for him than it had for her. She missed him intensely. Every story she would normally have regaled him with had gone untold. Every problem unresolved. Every longing, just to be near him, unfulfilled.
‘If Finn wants my help, he can come and ask for it himself.’
Deanna recoiled as though she’d been slapped. ‘You told him to stay away.’
Kelly fixed her with a stare so full of contempt, it practically dripped out of her eyes and Deanna sucked in her cheeks so hard, she looked like the grotesque skeleton she truly was.
‘For once in your life, Kelly. Try to put somebody else’s needs before your own.’
She strode past Kelly and it was all Kelly could do not to shove her through the door to speed up her exit. She closed the door, leaned against it and slid to the floor, dropping her head into her hands. The brief exchange had exhausted her and left her uncertain what would happen next. And yet, despite it all, she was also just the tiniest bit pleased.
Finn still needed her.
***
He called an hour later, sounding weird. Jumpy. Nervous. Not like Finn. They agreed to meet at a neutral location: a coffee shop not far from Kelly’s apartment. She felt as though she was preparing for a first date, trying to decide what to wear, how much makeup. How would she act when she saw him? Play it tough or hug him straight away? Chastise him for not calling or apologise for sending him away?
