Page 66 of Ghost of a Chance
“It’s okay.Chewie snores and likes to climb into the bed anyway,” he said, turning off the lights and joining her in the hallway.It had been a nice night.Why had he done that?He should have let things alone.
What would it take for her to let him in?To allow him into her life?She probably saw him as just an annoying guy with a ghost, the dude she slept with, a temporary friend on this weird journey.
He was working himself up as they climbed the stairs to the second floor.She was staying in the converted attic and paused at the foot of those stairs.“It’s not you, okay.”
Yeah.Right.
* * *
If she needed proof that one-night stands were the only way to go, here it was.He asked her to sleep with him.How much more romance movie could life get than that.Except she’d never slept with anyone.She’d always had her own bed and always went home alone after sex.
What would it be like?She was a restless sleeper and had atrocious morning breath.These were all things that she was guessing Jasper hadn’t considered.
Right now he looked at her with those wounded eyes and she wanted to walk back her no.Normally she could give two craps if she upset someone else but this wasn’t normal.Not one damned thing since she’d gone to the Dead Boys concert had been normal.
It wasn’t like she’d subtly been asking for change in her life.She’d spent a lifetime dealing with the chaos that was change and had finally—finally—gotten to the point where she had a routine and safety.
People totally underestimated how much someone who’d lived a nomadic life desperately craved normality.
“I’ve never slept with anyone,” she blurted out, trying to keep it at a heavy whisper.“I’m probably not good at it given how I am just in general.So it’s really not you.”
He leaned against the wall and ran his hand through that spikey, silky hair of his.What was he waiting for?There wasn’t anything else to say.
“It’s because everything with you is temporary.”
Okay.Well, fuck him.He wasn’t wrong but still, she hated being this seen.This twenty-five-year-old man-boy who told her point-blank he hadn’t figured out life yet was doing a banging job of calling out hers.
Looking straight past the kohl eyeliner and heavy fall of bangs.
Not exactly a hot mess.On the cusp of change.The kind of change that for once centered her own desires and the life she’d always wanted but never thought she’d stumble into.
“Temporary…dude, life is temporary.You know that better than anyone else,” she pointed out.It was a low blow.Fully expecting him to retaliate so she could justify turning on her heels and stalking her way up the stairs.
“You’re right.I do.But I don’t run from life.Temporary doesn’t equal meaningless or without connections.Say what you want to, but fear is something I’m very familiar with, and I know it when I see it.”
With that he entered his bedroom, leaving her alone as he prepared for bed with Chewie.
Coward.Literally that’s what he’d said to her more than once.
This just turned that harsh spotlight right back on her.
Dammit.
Just dammit.
“You can sleep in my bed,” she bit out in the loudest whisper she’d ever used.She hoped Dan and Gia were heavy sleepers and didn’t wake up.
“Oh, can I?”he asked, peering out of the doorway.He was still in his boxer briefs holding both of their other clothes in his left hand.
She was so scared and frustrated and angry.
“Yes.”All of a sudden she was afraid she might cry.That wasn’t like her.But this was Jasper and he pushed her into places she once thought she didn’t want to go.
Slowly, deliberately, he came back into the hallway.“You are…”
“Frustrating?”
“No.Confusing.”
