Page 94 of The Big Race
Leo was there at the airport to meet us. “You guys seem different,” he said, wrapping one arm around each of us. “Did you decide? Am I going to be the product of a broken home?”
“Nothing is broken that can’t be fixed,” I said, and he kissed both of us on our cheeks.
“I knew it!” he said.
“The race changed us,” Ray said, ruffling Leo’s hair though he had to reach up to do it now. Leo had sprouted up in college, surpassing my height easily.
“Are you sure the problems between you are fixed? Just like that?”
“Not fixed,” I said. “We’re working on it. Going to counseling.”
“Both of us,” Ray added. “Together and separately.”
Leo nodded slowly. “Good. Because I’ve seen how you two bottle things up. Dad with his athletic stuff and Pop with his computer. You both disappear into your own worlds when things get tough.”
I was startled by his perception. When had our son become so insightful about our marriage?
“And you can’t just paste over what happened,” Leo continued, looking directly at Ray. “Dad, you really hurt Pop. That kind of thing doesn’t just go away because you had some adventures.”
Ray flinched but nodded. “I know. I’m trying to understand why I did it. Not to excuse it, but to make sure it never happens again.”
“And what about you, Pop?” Leo turned to me. “Are you ready to trust Dad again? Or are you going to be checking his phone and second-guessing every late night at the office?”
His bluntness caught me off guard. “I don’t know,” I admitted. “Some days I feel like we’re stronger than ever. Other days...” I trailed off, not wanting to hurt Ray with the truth.
“Other days you remember what happened and wonder if you’re being a fool,” Leo finished for me.
“Yeah.”
Ray reached for my hand. “That’s why we’re in counseling. Dr. Lieber says trust gets rebuilt in small moments, day by day. Not all at once.”
Leo grabbed both our packs and began to lead us to the car. “And what about the things that led to the affair in the first place? Dad feeling trapped, Pop working from home all the time?”
I was impressed and a little unnerved by how accurately he’d assessed the situation. “We’re making changes there too,” I said. “I’m going start going into the office three days a week.”
“And I’m going to sign us up for dance lessons,” Ray added with a small smile. “Turns out Jeffrey has a talent for it.”
“After those Thai dancing lessons, anything would be easy,” I laughed.
Leo dropped the bags when we reached the car, visibly relieved. “Good. Because I need you guys to make this work. You’re my model for what a marriage should be.”
His words hit me like a blow to the chest. All this time, I’d been thinking about what Ray’s affair had done to me, to us. I hadn’t considered what our potential breakup would mean to Leo, who’d already lost one set of parents.
We got into the car, and it was comfortable to slide into the back seat next to Ray, letting Leo drive. I almost missed having Cody in the front seat, filming everything.
“We’re committed to making it work,” I assured him. “But it’s not going to be perfect overnight. There will be hard days.”
“Like when Dad’s sees his client Russell at that industry conference next month,” Leo said, always thinking one step ahead.
Ray’s head snapped up. “How did you know about that?”
Leo shrugged. “I follow him on Instagram. He posted about the keynote he’s giving.”
Ray and I looked at each other, both realizing we hadn’t discussed how to handle the inevitable situation where he might run into Russell.
“I’ll skip the conference,” Ray said immediately.
“No,” I said, surprising myself. “You’re presenting. It’s important for your career.”
