Page 54 of The Big Race
“With a double elimination, that means we need to beat both Tyler and Brandon, and Cherisse and Desiree, just to survive."
Ray nodded grimly. "No pressure there."
I was already thinking ahead to Nice, wondering what challenges awaited us and whether a two-hour deficit would prove insurmountable.
We had some down time as we waited at the gate for our flight. I sipped a cup of coffee as Ray stretched out his muscles. Watching him, I was acutely aware of the previous night—the way his body had moved with mine, the tenderness in his touch that had been absent for so long. That connection had felt real, essential in a way that went beyond the physical.
“Penny for your thoughts?” I asked, catching his eye.
He was silent for so long I thought he wasn’t going to answer. Finally, he said, “Remember when we first got together, how everything was so simple?”
“You mean when you were gone most of the time being a jock?” The words came out more pointed than I’d intended, and I immediately regretted them. Old habits.
Ray didn’t rise to the bait. Instead, he was thoughtful. “No, before that. When we’d just go hiking or swimming, and there wasn’t all this...” he waved his hand vaguely. “Pressure.”
“Pressure?”
“To be perfect. To never mess up.” He flexed his back muscles. “When I was with Russell, it wasn’t about love or even really about sex. It was about feeling like I didn’t have to be perfect all the time.”
I felt my throat tighten. Despite last night’s intimacy—or perhaps because of it—we were venturing into territory we’d been avoiding. “And with me?”
“With you, I always wanted to be perfect. Still do. And sometimes that’s exhausting.”
It was honest, and it laid bare something I hadn’t fully understood until that moment. Our reconnection hadn’t erased the complexities that had driven us apart; it had simply reminded us why those complexities were worth navigating.
"At least we know the way," Ray replied.
Tyler and Brandon approached us with their energy drinks in hand. “Mind if we join you?” Tyler asked. He was the younger of the two, maybe mid-twenties, with bleached tips and the kind of lean body that came from genetics rather than hours at the gym.
“Be our guests,” I said, gesturing to the empty seats.
Brandon plopped down across from me. “You guys were amazing on that bungee jump. We were totally freaking out watching you.”
“Jeffrey’s the brave one,” Ray said, abandoning his stretching to join us. “I just followed his lead.”
Tyler’s eyes widened with admiration. “That’s what we love about you two. You’re such a solid team. Like, hashtag relationship goals, am I right?”
Ray choked slightly on his water. I felt a twist in my stomach.
“How long have you guys been together?” Brandon asked.
“About twenty-five years,” I answered. “Married for fifteen.”
Tyler whistled. “That’s incredible. Brandon and I have been friends since college, but we’d kill each other if we had to date.”
“We’re good as friends,” Brandon agreed. “But watching you two—the way you communicate without even speaking, how you support each other—it’s inspiring.”
“You know we came on this show because we’re thinking of breaking up, right?” The words left my mouth before I could stop them.
Tyler’s jaw dropped. Brandon froze with his energy drink halfway to his lips.
“Separating,” Ray corrected quietly. “We’re separating. Or were. It’s complicated.”
“But you seem so...” Tyler struggled to find the word.
“Perfect together?” I supplied. “Yeah, well, appearances can be deceiving.”
An awkward silence fell over our little group. Brandon was the first to recover.
