Page 24 of The Barbarian's Claim
“Did I hurt you?”
He blinked a few times, looking up at me in surprise. “N-no. I-it was am-m-mazing.”
Studying him for a few moments, I was relieved to see the open honesty on his face. He was not just saying it to make mefeel better. He was being truthful. Still, I rolled him onto his belly, spreading his cheeks to look for myself.
“W-w-what are you—” He gasped and wriggled, trying to hide himself from my gaze.
“Making sure I didn’t tear anything,” I growled. “Lie still.”
“I-I’m fine!” he squeaked, trying to cover his behind with his hands. I snatched them and held them at the small of his back with one hand, the other keeping him spread so I could study his hole. There was no tearing that I could tell, though it looked a little raw, maybe from lack of decent lubrication, but he seemed alright.
“Einar!” he squawked, still wriggling to get free.
Releasing him, I let him turn over, his face bright red as he covered his behind with his hands. His embarrassment was cute, but it wouldn’t stop me from making sure he was safe and cared for. As his bondmate, it was my job to care for him.
I didn’t want to embarrass him, though. To distract him, I pointed out, “You did not struggle that time.”
Cocking his head, he frowned at me. “W-what?”
“When you said my name. You did not struggle. You are getting better.”
His gaze skittered away from me, and his frown deepened. “N-no, I’m n-n-not.”
I made a non-committal sound. He wasn’t ready to hear it yet. He would be eventually. Grabbing his hands, I pulled him up and handed him his clothes. It was too cold at night for him to sleep naked. We could do that in the summer.
It surprised me how easily I accepted that he would be with me come summer. A bonding was forever, I knew that, but I hadn’t thought of it in that way before now. I only wished to keep Matthew safe. To think that he would be with me as the seasons changed, perhaps traveling with me as I scouted for the clan, warmed my chest and made me uneasy at the sametime. Protecting him wasn’t a short-term goal anymore. I had to protect him for the rest of my life. He’d already been hurt in my care once. I had to do better.
The following morning,we made our way to the grove of the segel trees. It wasn’t very large, and a journey to get to, so not many people made the trek out there. I led Matthew inside, pointing at the branches that worked best for making bows.
“It cannot be too thin. While it shouldn’t be thick, if it is too thin, it will snap. You want to look for a branch thick enough to be shaped without being too wide.”
He nodded, watching as I tested a few branches before picking one with the right pliancy and length, using a small ax to cut it from the tree. I let Matthew touch and study it before jerking my chin at the grove.
“Find another. We need two.”
His brow furrowed a little, his expression serious as he moved from one tree to another, studying each branch carefully to find the best one. I appreciated his diligence. In every task I gave him, he put his heart into it. His strength and resilience were part of his beauty.
“T-this one?” he asked, his hand touching a branch of a taller segel tree closer to the middle of the grove. I came to his side, examining the branch he chose, then nodded.
“It is good. Cut it close to the base.”
Handing him my ax, I watched him with a careful eye to make sure he didn’t hurt himself. He was a little timid with the blade, which wasn’t safe. I would need to build his confidence if I ever wanted to trust him with a sword.
There was no need to stay once we had what we needed, so we headed in the direction of the village that afternoon, making good progress before setting up camp for the night. Of course, once Matthew crawled into the bedroll, the heated look in his eye told me what he hoped for to end our evening. I shook my head slowly.
“You need to save your strength for the journey back.”
His lip stuck out in a pout. He had never made that face before, and it caught me by surprise, forcing a huff of laughter from me. “You are not a child to plead like that, zoragar. Those looks will not work on me.”
His eyes lit up, and he smiled brightly, though I wasn’t sure why. I’d denied him, and still he was pleased with me. I found it didn’t take much to please Matthew. Being safe and cared for was all he needed. Anything more I gave him was a blessing in his eyes. After living so long with nothing, he wasn’t used to being treated kindly.
The guilt made me give in. I didn't wish to be another person to deny him his wants. And when I pushed inside him again, gripping his hips tightly to keep him from slamming back and hurting himself, I admitted to myself that it wasn’t just for him. After years of being alone, I wanted the connection just as much as he did. I might not always feel connected to my clan, but to Matthew, I was needed. Wanted, even. I craved that connection to him however I could get it.
Sixteen
MATTHEW
We arrived back at the clan village a few days later. We had no more run-ins with dangerous creatures, and Einar was generous each night in giving me what I craved. I wanted to try new things with him, but he refused until we had oil to ease our joining. He insisted on keeping things simple for the time being. Since I enjoyed simple very much, I did not pout. Much.
